NSFW - Fatback Media

You know what I love about the Mediterranean? The blue water, warm sun and all the naked boobies. These are a few of shots of topless chicks I took at the beach in southern Italy. What’s the difference between me and a paparazzo? The bottle of Krug, a huge erection and constant giggling. Check out the Old Man and the Sea in Pic 3. Pic 4 is a couple of Dutch MILF’s that kept taking their tops off.

You know what I love about sports? Hot chicks in bikinis. Sports, like rock and roll, is just a way to get girls to dress in skimpy outfits and take their tops off when they get drunk. That’s why every year Sports Illustrated, the illustrious journal of the pantheon of sports throws everything out the window and publishes a whole issue of hot chicks in bikinis. Marisa Miller, who was obviously created by God to be his girlfriend finally made the cover this year. Here’s a little abut Marisa form the Wikipedia.

Marisa enjoys football, muscle cars, cooking, and boxing. From an early age she loved surfing, was a standout volleyball player on her high school team, and has long been a big sports fan in general. She’s said that if she weren’t a model she would be a sportscaster.

She also enjoys long walks on the beach and sweaty tiger sex with a certain sexy southern blogger that rhymes with hatback. REDACTED. UNVERIFIABLE.(Wikipedia)

Here’s more Marisa getting her sports on. Put down your XBox ’s and masturbate you fatty’s. These pics are from Si.com and there are plenty more over there to see. Also, more naked Marisa here.

So this is what you get when you decide to make self-indulgent shitty movies that pass as art: premium supermodel ass draped allover you. Leonardo DiCaprio has been banging supermodels for years now and still has nothing to show for it but a 2 season run on Growing Pains [so cute!]. He’s supposed to be the actor of our generation, but to me it looks like he’s just smoking a lot cigarettes and fucking hot chicks. Which would be fine except he’s so god damn smug about acting. PS, he’s also a dick. Apparently, he and his cousin built a basketball court near his house in California and fucked up the geology of the west coast.

Neighbors Joan and Robert Linclau sued DiCaprio and [his cousin, Robert] Hrtica in May for at least $250,000 in damages. They claimed their property was illegally excavated and some plants removed in 2004. They also said the work undermined a slope behind their home and left their deck and pool in danger of collapse.(source)

So here’s to you Leo. Thanks for getting killed at the end of The Departed and Titanic and for banging coked out supermodels at the beach. You suck.

It’s a good time in Miami as Avril Lavigne presses her breasts against her friend and feigns to be caught by suprise by the paparrazi . . . that or something else is going on under the water that we don’t know about. Anyway, Avril and her hubby Derek (and I guess this other girl in the pic) journeyed down to Miami for some fun this week. Avril annoys me greatly because of her faux-punk image. She tries to come off as punk, but she’s really bad at making anyone over the age of 15 buy it, thus my”faux-punk” label. However, she’s really cute in a bikini. I’ll definitely give her that much. So just ignore the pink streaks in her hair and enjoy her in two bikinis from yesterday . . .

Happy Friday! Christina Milian is my new girl crush. After the slew of bikini pics circulating the web from this past week, she’s wrangled her way into my conscience and made me obsess over her tight stomach. I want that stomach! And you’ll notice a trend amongst photos of Christina–she is always wearing a perky, cute smile. She’s so adorable that I’ll even forgive her for playing the lead in the remake of “Can’t Buy Me Love” (i.e. “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” from 2003). I mean the original is an 80’s classic and I resent when such classics are remade. But I digress. Christina Milian has a hot, tight body and is simply adorable. Enjoy these barely-clad pics of her below . . .

Vanessa Hudgens is the picture of purity and righteousness, meaning she likes to take naughty pictures of herself and let them leak on the internet. That’s a hero to you me. I think if she’s Catholic she’s one miracle away from being declared a saint. True story, that shit’s in the Bible. The only reason I bring this up is that I can’t get in trouble for posting scintillating naked pictures of an 18 year hottie of questionable ethnicity because the laws in the USA kick ass.

Law& Order Update: Bongbong. Apparently the laws in the USA are made to protect people and not let bloggers post random naked pictures of them so I have removed the pics and replaced them with boring bikini shots of Vanessa Hudgens dancing with some gay kid. Objection your honor.

Flickr sucks cockrs update: So Flickr deleted my account and all my pics. They suck. Enjoy the nothing Atrayu.

Dude. Where the hell did summer go? It seems like just yesterday I was breaking out the white slacks, popping my collar and getting my 23 ft sloop out of dry dock to sail down to my parents house in Newport so I could discuss my new start-up with some buddies over beers and baked clams-beachside. No bigs. Now it’s already time to pull the kegs in from the beach, send the bitches home and get the beach house winterized, bro. The cool thing is that we didn’t have to bury anybody in the sand and have my dad take care of all that like last year. Score. Speaking of scores, here’s Marisa Miller half naked because I love summer and summer is for naked boobies.

Links if you made it this far:

• Cute College Girl O’ The Week: Heather from Monmouth. (College Humor)
• Lindsay Lohan’s dad visits her in rehab ( for a little slap and tickle?) (Yeeeah)
• Tyra Banks is fucking freeeeeak. (IBBB)
• Heather Grahm has a video, and well…she sure is pretty. (Evil Beet)
• Britney is opening the VMA’s, which apparantly still happen? (GoT)
• Hottest blogger online (Allie)
• Vanessa Hudgens nude! Well probably not, but a boy can dream. (Glitterati)
• Britney Poo. (Seriously OMG)
• Jessica Simpson’s nipples: still awesome. (DS)
• Davis Schwimmer is banging Thandie Newton. PIVOT! (Bastardly)
• Kate Walsh said some stuff..blah blah…I’m just looking at her rack. (ICYDK)
• Jenna Fischer separated from her husband. So leave us alone, we need sometime to heal. (BPBC)
• The Hilton’s have set the Paris pregancy project in motion (Bumpshack)

This is Alena Seredova, who according to Wikipedia is a top Czech model who gets nude a lot and has several accents on her name that my computer can’t make. It easy to understand why the cold war went on so long if this is what the Eastern Bloc was hiding all those years. Fortunately, we had hot water, twin razors, good dental care and a thriving porn industry to lavish on all these unfortunate hotties. God bless the USA!

Links comrade. More naked Czech action after the jump. NSFW

• FHM’s Brooke in various state of undress and 100% hot. (FHM Online)
• Jessica Simpson still has a world class rack. I’m a gentleman like that. (notorious)
• Haley from UNCW is the hot girl of the week. I tink I have a fever, nurse. (College Humor)
• DMX might have been into deeper shit than Michael Vick. Dayum. (yeeeah)
• Michael Vick booted from the NFL. (Ninja Dude)
• Ann Coulter got a boob job. For Jesus and the NRA. (City rag)
• Jake Gyllenhaal is straight as a board. A board that loves men and has gay man sex. (IDLYITW)
• Britney Spears investigated for child abuse. (Allie)
• Hayden Panetierre in FHM UK you fucking perv. (Jordan)
• The Teen Choice this year? Jailbait whores of course. (DS)
• Case in point RE: the previous bullet (Bastardly)

Read more »

Super manly hero to young and old and quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, Michael Vick was in court today working out a plea to charges surrounding dog fighting and animal cruelty thus proving that he is neither a hero nor manly. The plea could land him year in prison where hopefully incarcerated Cleveland Browns fans will gang rape him until his anus forms an infected fistula into his skull. Here’s what his attorney had to say:

“After consulting with his family over the weekend, Michael Vick asked that I announce today that he has reached an agreement with federal prosecutors regarding the charges pending against him. Mr. Vick has agreed to enter a plea of guilty to those charges and to accept full responsibility for his actions and the mistakes he has made. Michael wishes to apologize again to everyone who has been hurt by this matter.” (source)

I won’t even restate the cruel and cowardly shit Vick and his band of assholes did to those dogs but lets just say I don’t think a year in prison covers it. Some say he’ll be banned from the NFL, some say why would he, if he’s paid his debt to society? Well, because shit like this can’t be repaid. Societies are built on an ever evolving code of mores and expected behavior - and we evolved out that shit a long time ago.

I’m not very religious but I do think that there is symmetry in giving someone a taste of their own medicine. So instead of a year in prison, I think a fitting punishment would be Mike Vick vs. 27 blood thirsty pit bulls ,Thunderdome style. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. Besides, he’s not on my fantasy football roster anyway. Sexy ladies because being mean to dogs is shitty.

Update: Skippystalin says they might indict Vick on the RICO charges.  Like Miami Vice!

Some people complain that this site panders to the readers because, invariably everyday there is a post that has a girl in a bikini. Maybe they’re right. Or just maybe, it’s just a coincidence that the most salient news of the day just happens to be about a hot chick in a bikini. Maybe you’re just an insufferable asshole? I don’t know, what am I a doctor?

What is not insufferable is Anna Faris’ ass. Nor is my apostrophe usage on the singular possessive ending in ‘S’. Nor is a Hollywood that is embracing the fact that to make a movie that people will watch, you have to put Anna Faris in a pink bikini. Here are some details on House Bunny.

When Shelly (Anna Faris), a Playboy bunny, is tossed out of the mansion, she has nowhere to go until she falls in with the sorority girls from Zeta Tau Zeta. The members of the sorority ,“ who also have got to be the seven most socially clueless women on the planet, are about to lose their house. They need a dose of what only the eternally bubbly Shelley can provide, but they will each learn on their own to stop pretending to be what others want them to be and start being themselves. (IMDB)

The movie also stars Katharine McPhee who has a scientifically demonstrated perfectly formed ass herself. She plays a pregnant chick so she wears a prosthesis for most of the movie. So it’s cool to get a wood for her even though she looks pregnant. Unless you’re into that shit you dirty bastard. You know the Bible talks about people like you. It also talks about people like Anna Faris. I think Lot’s wife used to hang with those types…