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Wrestling diva(?) Ashley Massaro just quit wresting to join the reality series Survivor. Most of you may know her as the rags to riches model who rose to fame using her enduring spirit and sassy gumption. Or maybe just as the short girl with the giant rack who wrestles other girls[!] on tv.

Gazongariffic WWE diva Ashley Massaro has reportedly been knocked out of the professional wrestling circuit. It’s a great loss to wrestling, and a sad day for all humanity. WWE superstar Paul London told Prowrestling.com that Ashley “was written out of the WWE storylines because she’s leaving to be a contestant on the ‘Survivor’ reality show.” (source)

I don’t really watch wrestling because it’s fake. Also, when Rowdy Roddy Piper retired that really took its toll. It’s really too painful to talk about. Fucking Randy Savage. One thing I do stand behind 100% is chicks wrestling half naked and pulling each other’s hair and spanking each other. Does that make me a sexist, misogynistic bastard? Not at all sugar tits, now shimmy that sweet ass over to the kitchen and make me a turkey pot pie.

Man that Hayden Panetierre is making me question my rule about underage chicks. Which is: don’t do it. Unless you’re out of town and the bouncers let her in on a fake ID. Speaking of… where the hell is Heroes? I’m interested to see more of that new shapeshifter chick from the Stick it. Yeah, I saw it. Where do you think the girl with the fake ID and I went for our first date? Missy Peregrym (from Stick it, duh)is pretty smokin’ hot in a manly Jessica Biel sorta way. Sometimes I need to be held. LINKS!

• This site is chock full o’ pics of Hayden Panetierre for you hard candy lovers. (Celebrity Hubris)
• Chick from the Pussy Cat Dolls,barley dressed. (Phun)
• Britney Spears is like the Peter Pan of pop stars. Except stupid. (IDLYITW)
• Jessica Biel is man-some women. It’s a mixed up mumbled up shook up world. (Yeeeah)
• Lindsay Lohan is a scissor sister. (DS)
• Sanjaya: deconstructed. (Celebrity smack)
• Clara in King magazine. Shazam! (Bastardly)
• In case you missed it. The Olivia Mojica sex tape trailer (FBC)

It’s a slow week, so in lieu of juicy gossip I’ll do what any self respecting professional writer would do. Offer a discourse on the dichotomy of nature vs. nurture child rearing and how disparate and often confusing messages from male and female role models can actually retard emotional self awareness and growth in pre-teens and adolescents. Nah. I’m just kidding. Boobies! This is Ashley Massaro who is a (air quotes) professional wrestler (/air quotes) for WWE Raw. I’m from the south, but I haven’t seen as much ‘rasslin’ and racin’ as you might imagine, so I had never heard of Ashley. According to Wiki-that-ain’t-no-lie-Pedia, Ashley is quite the athlete.

Ashley Massaro, came to WWE in June 2005 as a contestant in the 2005 RAW Diva Search. After beating the seven other chosen finalists, Massaro was declared the winner on the August 15, 2005 edition of RAW. She won the $250,000 Diva Search contest which included the $250,000 and a one year contract with World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). Massaro made her first WWE appearance as an official WWE Diva on the August 21, 2005 pre-SummerSlam edition of Heat where she conducted interviews with the fans, The Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young. Later that night, Massaro made her first appearance at a pay-per-view event when she joined the other bikini-clad divas in washing Vince McMahon’s presidential limo backstage.(source)

Wow. He mom must be so proud. I know I am. Now back to my thesis. A good writer writes. A good writer writes…

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