NSFW – Fatback Media

Well I guess the party’s over kids. No more Antonella Barba to fill our water cooler sound bites. No more “are they real” or “why would her friend do that to her” or “how did you get her underwear dude?”. All done. Not to mention the traffic boost we all got from just tagging a story with her otherwise nondescript name. Remember, back in the day (3 weeks ago) when the story first broke and you were all excited and I posted those pictures of the fake Antonella-porn star up and all the other racy photos of the real Anotnella and we just laughed talked and held each other till dawn? Yeah. Good times. ANYWAY, before you start crying again, It looks like Antonella may have some options on the table.

Barba’s Idol exposure may not have earned her a record contract, but there’s no doubt her experience on the Fox show has resulted in a wealth of new opportunities.

On Wednesday, Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis extended a public invitation to the comely brunette to join his company, offering her $250,000 to host an upcoming video release from the franchise.(source)

There is also a rumor that she’ll accept a recent bid by Playboy to pose nude for them. Personally, I think she should go straight into porn. NOt regular porn. That really revolting shit that you say doesn’t turn you on, and you’d never be into it. And you even lie to yourself about it. Ew. gross. Not me dude. But somehow when you’re into your 25th vodka tonic you find yourself naked, lit by your monitor listening to that German guy yelling (pleading?), so you turn down the speakers and just watch. And cry. Then watch and cry some more. Then you take shower and cry again and put all your clothes in the wash at 3.47 am on a work night. And in the morning it’s all better because you’re hungover and you can’t really remember what happened. Maybe it was dream? Yeah it was dream. But then the cat ruins it because when did he become such a judgmental dick?

Explore the archives for all the nudeness of Antonella, pervs.

UPDATE: The sly, technosaavy savants over at Technorati.com picked up this post on their new appropriately titled “Buzz TV” today. Click to see it. Warning, it’s a video that features this very post so the universe may implode. But there’s nothing like a singularity on a Friday.

Not much going on today and I feel like Nick Nolte. Meaning I’m probably drunk and I can’t stop saying “Aw Hell” when someone asks me for something. (Yes that’s a P.O. rip, but it’s the truth). It’s way better than Danny Glover days when “I’m getting too old for this shi….” Digressing. Here are some pictures of Michelle Heaton in a bikini. She’s famous in Britain for something, which means nobody’s ever heard of her. But I’m sure there’s a stripper working the buffet lunch shift at some pub in E. London with tears of motherly pride welling in her tired mascara laden eyes. Or maybe it’s just the smoke. Wiki use at you’re own risk pedia has this:

A former student of Emmanuel College in Gateshead, Heaton began her singing career in the band Sirens with other girls from the north east of England. She rose to fame when she took part in the ITV reality television show Popstars. Heaton reached the final ten but was not selected for the five member band Hear’Say. Soon after, she and the other four unsuccessful applicants formed Liberty X, signing a record deal with Virgin Records. (source)

Popstars was the British inspiration for American Idol. This chick got 5th place. Fifth. Place. Normally, Americans can take anything British and make it ten times more effective and BODACIOUS. Cars? Way better on the right side and the hemi? COME ON. Democracy? Totally sexier in our 3 branched system. Plus. NO WIGS. Fish & Chips? Try it in Boston with Sam Adams, limey. Poverty and lack of healthcare for the poor? That’s shit’s pervasive here, man. BOOOYAH. Wait. ANYWAY.

It looks the Brit’s came in it to win it, got their game faces on and spent some quality time on the selection process for Popstars. Which is more than I cansay for how we did it here for Idol. Or else 5th place would look like this and not Bucky Covington. Bless his heart.

Word has it that the super-chaste American Idol girls are giving Antonella Barba the cold shoulder because of all those “sexy” photos that have been making their way around the web.

According to our spy, some of the religious female contestants are none too fond of one Miss Antonella Barba, since racy photos of the off-key idol began popping up on the net.

No confrontation has erupted, but it’s been downright chilly behind the scenes, with the idolettes now waiting to see if America decides to keep the photogenic Barba around for another week, heaven forbid! (source)

This why stuck up church girls get a bad name and it’s also why they never get laid. You’re not better than a slutty girl because you have morals, she’s better than you, because she knows how to use her kit. If the Idolettes spent less time with sanctimony and more time trying to bang one of the judges they might have a chance in this thing.

True Fact: Slutty girls always win in Hollywood. That’s why they call it Hollywood.

Guys all follow the code. If left with the choice of the “stuck up pretty one wearing pearls and frowning with disdain” or the “hot girl in the ripped skirt and slippery when wet tattoo”, 9 times out of ten, we go for the easy kill. It’s a national Geographic thing. True story.

Oh. I mean me, not them. American Idol was on last night and I stopped watching after 85 seconds because it was guy’s night. (Although one of those dudes could definitely make it at a tranny strip club with a 2 inch piece of duct tape) Point is, American Idol is not a singing contest; it’s a humiliation and degradation contest meant to amuse the American public and destroy young psyches. Which is cool by me, we need to weed out the chaff and the rabble. And we need more slutty girls to post pictures of their friends online out of vicious jealousy. Speaking chaff and rabble here are some shots of Antonella Barba and Kellie Pickler with her new breast implants to warm you up for Ladies night. I threw in one of Katharine McPhee, because, damn I miss her.

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