NSFW – Fatback Media

Man that Hayden Panetierre is making me question my rule about underage chicks. Which is: don’t do it. Unless you’re out of town and the bouncers let her in on a fake ID. Speaking of… where the hell is Heroes? I’m interested to see more of that new shapeshifter chick from the Stick it. Yeah, I saw it. Where do you think the girl with the fake ID and I went for our first date? Missy Peregrym (from Stick it, duh)is pretty smokin’ hot in a manly Jessica Biel sorta way. Sometimes I need to be held. LINKS!

• This site is chock full o’ pics of Hayden Panetierre for you hard candy lovers. (Celebrity Hubris)
• Chick from the Pussy Cat Dolls,barley dressed. (Phun)
• Britney Spears is like the Peter Pan of pop stars. Except stupid. (IDLYITW)
• Jessica Biel is man-some women. It’s a mixed up mumbled up shook up world. (Yeeeah)
• Lindsay Lohan is a scissor sister. (DS)
• Sanjaya: deconstructed. (Celebrity smack)
• Clara in King magazine. Shazam! (Bastardly)
• In case you missed it. The Olivia Mojica sex tape trailer (FBC)

Besides Sanjaya, who’s a total dreamboat, Haley Scarnato is the hottest Idol contestant left. (Well, there is that chick that kinda looks like chocolate Shrek. Reeeow. )Point is, Haley may have the nicest rack in American Idol history. Katharine Mcphee is a close second. It’s cool though. She’s used to second place. Zing!

China (THE COMMUNIST COUNTRY) is starting their own version of Idol that, from these reports, may just be spicier than General Gao’s Chicken with extra ginger. It’s going to be called Boys Happy Voice, which sounds like a play I was in at Catholic School. I don’t like to talk about it.

Tears, wild hair and unhealthy songs are banned when China’s latest version of “American Idol” goes on the air next month.

“No weirdness, no vulgarity, no low taste,” the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television said Friday in a notice to the producers of “Boys Happy Voice,” according to the official Xinhua News Agency.

The talent show, to be broadcast beginning May 1, is a sequel to the hugely popular TV contest “Super Girls Voice” in 2005, which drew more than 400 million viewers. The woman who won that contest became a popular singer in China….

“Happy Boys Voice” should include only “healthy and ethically inspiring” songs and avoid scenes of screaming fans or losing contestants in tears,” the regulator was quoted as saying. (source)

The officals were also quoted as saying that, instead of being forced to sing (while crying )when they are eliminated, ousted contestants will be crushed by Red Army Tanks to show their Happy Fun Patriotism and Conformity. More Haley proving that some animals are more equal than others…

I only watch American Idol because I’m drunk by 9:00 on any given night and I can’t find my remote so I just watch whatever channel happens to be on. Last night was a so-called “elimination” night where they make everyone cry, then humiliate the eliminated contestant by making them sing while balling their eyes out. Great fun.

So last night, Tony Bennet was supposed to sing, but I guess his sundown syndrome wore off and he fucking never showed up. So they called Michael Bublé to fill in. Apparently the call rang his cell phone at a bar, because as it turns out, Michael was completely drunk and had just done a rail of coke. It was hilarious. He stumbled around on stage and sang like shit and when he was done he asked Ryan Seacrest if he was wasting his vote by still voting for Antonella Barba. Not at Michael. Not. At. All.

• Hayden Panetierre wearing seethru. Go ahead and click it perv. She may be 16, but she smokes and whores around with Paris Hilton. Innocence lost. (DS)
• I’m a famous blogger. Go ahead. Ask me. (One Blog A Day)
• Britney Spears got divorced and she’s paying K-Fed 25K a month to babysit her kids 4 days a week. (Yeeeah)
• Abigail Clancy is a hot coke whore model who bangs sports stars. Like your mom. (Bumpshack)
• Some chick on an MTV show nobody watches got some new tits. (IBBB)
• Lucy Pinder, wait for it…naked. I know, right? So unlike her. (JIMH)
• Rose Mcgowan and Rosario Dawson naked with bullets. Pants. Just. Exploded. (Bastardly)
• Hot college stripper asses. (CH)

Ok. So I know that pic is not of Antonella Barba. But Google shut down my Adsense for those pics in an earlier post. Google is awesome. I want them to fuck me in the ass. Wait they already did.

Shazam. This is the best season of American Idol. EVER. Katharine McPhee’s yellow dress malfunction pales in comparison to Antonella Barba, and now Alaina Alexander nudes. Of course these are not fully nude or else Alaina’s MySpace profile would be taken down. You know what posting semi-nudes on MySpace gets you?

Hope.

I thought all the hope had left this world after The Departed and 300. But half naked pictures of wannabe singers on MySpace means there are some whole-naked pictures on somebody’s hard drive somewhere, just waiting to be released into the wilds of the internet. And naked pictures, my friends are like secrets and STD’s, they’re bound to come out sometime (usually after putting something where it shouldn’t have been). That doesn’t make sense at all. But what does make sense is how hot Alaina Alexander is. I asked her to be my MySpace friend and I invited her to a Gmail account. I have a good feeling about this one. If Axl Rose has taught me anything, it’s that the LA music scene is a veritable “jungle” and you have to do drugs and porn or “you gonna die”. You. Gonna. Die.