That’s Jessica Biel and that’s Jessica Biel’s underwear folks. Tuesdays usually suck because, well, they’re Tuesdays, but today is alright because Jessica Biel looks hot with short hair and with her underwear showing. The movie she’s shooting (she’s filming a scene here) is called Powder Blue and it has this riveting yet evocative plot description:

Four desperate individuals intersect in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve. (IMDB)

Booyah! That description just slammed in me the face with awesome, drove right over me and dragged me down the dirt road of exposition, tied me to a fence and left me to die in tagline heaven. If that wasn’t enough to get your action pants on, it looks like Jessica Biel will be wearing a wife beater the whole time. I think I hear Oscar calling. More Jess is under there. Get it?

Links if you made it this far.

• Madonna’s panties for sale! (Notorious)
• Hot College girl of the week. Amber from Cleveland State. (College humor)
• Paris Hilton Toe Glove shoes? (Celebrity Smack)
• Ashley Tisdale at Billy Joel. Perv. (Bastardly)
• Eva Herzigova upskirt. Is she from Bosina or Croatia? (DS)
• Lilly Allen work visa for USA revoked. I guess we’ll have to break up now. (SeriouslyOMG)
• Paris Hilton camo bikini. where’d she go?! (Jordan)
• Britney Spears wrecks her car like dumb ass redneck. (yeeeah)
• Lindsay Lohan sex scene. .(Ninja Dude)
• Antonella Barba still trying sing. Still hot, but still sucking. (Bumpshack)
• The Bourne Ultimatum kicks ass. (Pajiba)

So yeah. Whatever. I thought my last post Britney Spears topless was going to pay my rent this month like Antonella Barba did last month. However, it turns out that paparazzi photos, or this case, ’stolen from someone who knows Britney’ photos cost 1G a pop. And what me havin’ bitches in tha livin’ room gettin’ on and they ain’t leavin’ till 6 in tha mo’nin’, I gotta hang on to these ends, yo. Anyway, buzzkill rent takers aside, there actually is some shit worth reading on the web today. I’m keeping it to myself though. Fuck you.

• Here are the Topless Britney Spears pictures in case you came here for them. Although I think I’d rather see Allie topless. Reeeow. Blogger boobies! (Allie)
• Kimberly Stewart at Coachella. Looking like a roachella. Yeah. That’s what I said. (Bastardly)
• Lindsay Lohan is a whore and she’s off the wagon. The whore wagon. (Don’t Judge me)
• Jesus take the wheeel. Or Sienna Miller’s nip slip. Whatevs, deity. (DS)
• They should call his mom GANJAYA SMOKALAR. That’s the name of my bong. (Bumpshack)
• More Britney Spears topless. Now with MORE DAISY! (Yeeeah)
• Speaking of boobies, these are NOT pictures of Britney Spears Boobs, they ARE pics of hot slutty college girls. (CH)
• Self referential link to another link post that a links back to my site and a picture of Jessica Simpson’s rack. (GoT)

More of Jamie Lynn Spears the cantankerous Spears sister. Wait, I meant cankerous.

By now you’ve probably heard about the latest former American Idol contestant to embarrass her family and generally act like a drunken piece of trash, Jessica Sierra. It seems that ole’ Jess got herself into a bit of trouble on Saturday night when she got into a bar fight in Tampa and was found to have some Bolivian marching powder in her purse. She was reportedly abusive to the arresting officers after she threw a cocktail glass at a fellow booze hound.

It appears that since she was kicked off of Idol, Jessica Sierra (porno name, anyone?) has tried to get a record contact and has been WORKING AT HOOTERS. Let’s see: cocaine, alcohol, trampy name, reality show cast-off, and now my favorite delightfully tacky, yet unrefined restaurant. This girl’s life reads like a Mad Libs of American white trash. To complete the sweep, she might as well release a sex tape that was filmed in her single-wide where she smokes Kools and chugs Boone’s Farm straight from the bottle. God bless Tampa, home of 94% of America’s whores, and God bless Jessica Sierra and the plate of curly fries and wings she is currently serving to a trucker.

While I wouldn’t fuck Jessica Sierra with Kelly Clarkson’s dick, I do have a soft spot for the lovely Ms. Carrie Underwood. Something tells me that Carrie’s never donned orange hot pants and a tank top. [Ed. note: Shooter, I just know she has. If there is a a god in heaven...]

Sanjaya is gone folks. I think he actually knew it going into it though. He still balled like a little girl ,so I lost all respect for him. I’m waiting for the Idol castoff that refuses to sing though the tears and decides to fucking show out. For instance, Sanjaya should have kicked Simon right in balls and and bent Paula right over the judges table and long poled her on national TV. I bet that little girl would have really cried then. Plus Paula is high and kinda slutty, so it’s not like she’d put up a fuss. Sanjaya would look at the camera and wink, “I’ll show you a cold hearted snake“.

The one tragedy in all this is that Shyamali and her awesome paper sack brown boobies will no longer be in the audience for DVR fodder. I guess I’ll have to wait for the Olivia Mojica sex tape to come out for my American Idol perv fix. Girlfriend is a freeeeak…LINKS!

• More pics of Fergie in her panties on the set of her new video. (DS)
• Mandy Moore barely legal bikini pics you perv. (Bastardly)
• Angelina Jolie is fucking crazy. She brought out the knives on her boyfriend during sex. Is is okay to have wood while you’re scared shitless? (Celebitchy)
• Larry Birkhead’s gay lover is a bat child alien from the planet of hell. Or something. (Bricks and Stones)
• Paula Abdul is a bitch. (Derek Hail)
• Michelle Rodriguez is out of house arrest. Sweet. (ICYDK)
• Britney is almost back to fighting weight. (D-Listed)
• Avril Lavigne is a douche. That’s French for douche. (Yeeeah)
• Last but not least, College Girls’ Boobies. It never gets old. (CH)

Man that Hayden Panetierre is making me question my rule about underage chicks. Which is: don’t do it. Unless you’re out of town and the bouncers let her in on a fake ID. Speaking of… where the hell is Heroes? I’m interested to see more of that new shapeshifter chick from the Stick it. Yeah, I saw it. Where do you think the girl with the fake ID and I went for our first date? Missy Peregrym (from Stick it, duh)is pretty smokin’ hot in a manly Jessica Biel sorta way. Sometimes I need to be held. LINKS!

• This site is chock full o’ pics of Hayden Panetierre for you hard candy lovers. (Celebrity Hubris)
• Chick from the Pussy Cat Dolls,barley dressed. (Phun)
• Britney Spears is like the Peter Pan of pop stars. Except stupid. (IDLYITW)
• Jessica Biel is man-some women. It’s a mixed up mumbled up shook up world. (Yeeeah)
• Lindsay Lohan is a scissor sister. (DS)
• Sanjaya: deconstructed. (Celebrity smack)
• Clara in King magazine. Shazam! (Bastardly)
• In case you missed it. The Olivia Mojica sex tape trailer (FBC)