NSFW – Fatback Media

Although she’s been kinda on the DL for a bit due to her rehab problems, and with all the Britney Spears/Anna Nicole Smith news infiltrating the last vestiges of sanity in your hippocampus, Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she still has nipples. And she really likes soul food.

The third one is kinda lame so I added a see thru pic of Antonella Barba (not fake!) because she seems to know how to throw a party. She’s a hero. Vote for her.

Anna Nicole Smith, whose decomposing body has been sitting on a slab for weeks awaiting an appeals court ruling, is set to be buried in the Bahamas next to her son in a custom made gown at a burial ceremony that promises to be “over the top”.

The memorial service, with about 300 guests at an undisclosed church, will feature large amounts of pink flowers, her favorite color, and singing from a well-known performer whose name organizers aren’t ready to disclose, said the friend, Patrik Simpson of Beverly Hills, Calif.

“It will be a very beautiful, Anna Nicole send-off,” Simpson told The Associated Press in an interview Wednesday night in the Bahamian capital of Nassau. “Of course it will be over the top because it’s Anna Nicole.” (source)

God. Damn.

How could they top the white trash bacchanalia that was her whole life? They should prop her up Weekend at Bernie’s style and take turns dancing her around the room wearing smeared lipstick and a Marilyn Monroe dress with a bottle of pills glued to one hand and her dog’s leash tied to the other just dragging the dog all around. That would totally rock. When they got tired they could prop her up at the bar with her face in a pitcher of Strawberry Margaritas and no one would ever even notice the difference. Then they could take her on a diving trip and she would discover the ancient buried pirate treasure! She’s so cunning.

Larry Birkhead, one of the baby-daddy candidates for Anna Nicole Smith’s remaining child, recently met the 5 month old little girl and says she was so happy she puked on him.

In their time together, Birkhead fed the baby, burped her – and she threw up on him, according to a interview and profile for Bravo TV, part of which was aired on the Today show Tuesday.

All Birkhead wants, according to the report, is “to be a good father.” As for his memories about Anna Nicole, the Los Angeles-based celebrity photographer says that he most cherished his private time with her.

“Every moment that we got together was kind of … that’s what everything’s about. To me, it wasn’t about the money. [Being with her] that was like gold to me, you know?” Birkhead says in the interview, which was taped before he met Dannielynn. (source)

I’ve never seen so many people fighting over who is the father of a white trash baby. (I wonder if Dannilynn would be so popular if she weren’t heir to the few million dollars  and the bucket of KFC that Anna Nicole left behind?) Normally, an accused father just packs up the truck and heads to another town and starts up a relationship with another redneck stripper that he can bareback – because why bother, she’s just a stripper right? Well strippers have feelings. You hear that dad? I gotta go.

 

Hey, ya’ll. It’s been a great week for news so I wanted to throw in some sexy southern weekend links for you hungover slobs who won’t be leaving the house today. To wit.

• Drew Barrymore bikini pics. Not bad for an old chick. (DS)
• Naked college girl from my old school. Go Cocks. Classy as usual. (CH)
• Seacrest is out. Well not really but wants Matt Lauer’s junk. (Glitterati)
• AntonellaBarba poll: Are the BJ pics for real? You decide. (Bastardly)
• Sharon Stone cougars it up in Paris. I’d hit it. I like the crazy ones. (Smart)
• Jennifer Aniston Topless video. Prolly fake, but it’s still boobies. (Gossip or Truth)
• Anna Kornikova has a case of the Mondays (Jordan)
• Anna Nicole’s body is rotting (Derek Hail)
• Get you very own NSFW T-Shirt you dirty bitches. (FBC)
• Pink in a bikini. I’m turned on but a little frightened. Hold me. (Allie)