Sexy Singer Willa Ford has been confirmed to play Anna Nicole Smith in the upcoming biopoc entitled, “Anna Nicole: Dead, drugged out whore“. Okay, I made that last part up, but I also promised not to post about Anna Nicole for 3 months, so deal.

Dancer-singer Willa Ford has signed to star as Anna Nicole Smith in an indie biopic that will begin shooting next week.

The previously announced film, “Anna Nicole,” is produced by Jack Nasser and Joseph Nasser with Elie Samaha exec producing. Keoni Waxman directs.

The movie will cover Smith’s life from age 17 until her death in February at 39, including her success as a Playboy centerfold, Guess model and actress, her marriage to billionaire oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, the death of her son and her own death five months after giving birth to a baby girl, Dannielynn. (source)

How can they possibly make a movie about someone who lived their whole life as a caricature? It shouldn’t star Willa Ford, it should be a fucking cartoon. “Where in the World is Anna Nicole’s Corpse?” I can’t wait for all the candle-in-the-wind analogies to start. Anna Nicole shouldn’t be compared to Marilyn Monroe (although she didn’t do shit either, except have nice rack and fuck the president and his brother), because there’s no comparison. Candle in the wind? More like drumstick in the bucket. Here’s some Willa Ford to make all this better. She wants to be bad.

More NSFW Willa after the jump…

I have no idea what this is from, but I am 1000% sure that I don’t care. Jessica Alba, tan and falling out of a bikini is enough to make me want to quit my job and fucking move to an island. How many times do you have to watch Office Space to realize that you’re that guy? Some days I just think, man this place would really fucking burn. LINKS!

• Jessica Alba in her underwear to make you hate your job even more. (IDLYITW)
• The entire movie Office Space reshot using Peeps. FUCKING PEEPS! I love peeps. (Youtube)
• Cameron Diaz in a bikini showing a little easter egg. She’s religious. (DS)
• David Duchovny is constipated. (Glitterati)
• Larry Birkhead, first redneck in history to claim his own bastard. (IBBB)
• Paris Hilton is a whore, and some other stuff blahblahblah. (Yeeeah)
• Jolene Blalock got some big ass…..(Bastardly)

The chemical geniuses over at the Star and the National Enquirer have uncovered some new evidence in the Anna Nicole Smith death investigation. They report that the cause of death was: Choral Hydrate.

Anna Nicole Smith died with a toxic level of the sleeping medication chloral hydrate in her system.

In a joint newsgathering operation, the National ENQUIRER and Star magazine have solved the mystery of the former Playboy model’s death and provide a detailed portrait of her final days.

The world exclusive details come days before Broward County, Fla., Chief Medical Examiner Joshua Perper will hold a press conference to announce the former Playboy Playmate’s cause of death.

The ENQUIRER and Star have also learned that Anna Nicole had a raging blood infection. The infection was caused by an unsterilized needle and contributed to her death.

The infection was so serious, it would have killed her if she had not overdosed. (source)

I’m no chemist…wait. Yes, yes I am. So I know that chloral hydrate, or 1,1,1-trichloro-2,2-ethanediol for you LeChatlier fans out there, is a powerful water soluble sedative that is rarely prescribed anymore unless your name is Snidely and you want to slip some gabby dame a Mickey Finn. That said, I’m sure that it was total accident when Howard Stern murdered her. Just like John Wilkes Booth! Vote democrat.

Emily Scott is Australian which means she’s hot and will get naked for almost no money at all. Based on my experience drinking Gold Coast ‘Rita’s from Outback Steakhouse and a quick trip to Wiki-shrimp on the barbie-Pedia, I’m an expert on nude Australian chicks. And chaize froiyze.

I met a girl from Australia once who told me that Aussie girls love to flash their tits. She said you could walk though Sydney and just yell at group of girls in the mall, “Hey Sheila lemme see yer tits“, and half of them would take off their shirt. The other half would stab you in the kidney with a large knife and eat a kangaroo with Vegemite. They do that, you know. Anyhoosits. Her name was Sheila and she showed me her tits, but it cost me a $100 dollars. Oh, she was a stripper. Did I mention that? LINKS!

• Teresa Palmer is Wonder Woman. Ans she’s smoking hot. (Gutter Bleed)
• Japanese girl with big tits gets a cab (Crave)
• Britney has narcolepsy or either whe a fat whore. (Yeeeah)
• Find a naked chick from your school. (CH)
• Monica Bellucci is still smokin’ hot. (Bastardly)
• Jenna Fischer nude in WIRED magazine for you fucking nerds. (GMMR)
• Anna Nicole cause o’ death revealed! It was dumb fuckin’ cracker disease. (INO)
• Sanjaya looks like Antonella Barba. ZING! I. CAN’T. BE. STOPPED. (Celebitchy)

NAKED!

Although she’s been kinda on the DL for a bit due to her rehab problems, and with all the Britney Spears/Anna Nicole Smith news infiltrating the last vestiges of sanity in your hippocampus, Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she still has nipples. And she really likes soul food.

The third one is kinda lame so I added a see thru pic of Antonella Barba (not fake!) because she seems to know how to throw a party. She’s a hero. Vote for her.