NSFW - Fatback Media

Sexy Singer Willa Ford has been confirmed to play Anna Nicole Smith in the upcoming biopoc entitled, “Anna Nicole: Dead, drugged out whore“. Okay, I made that last part up, but I also promised not to post about Anna Nicole for 3 months, so deal.

Dancer-singer Willa Ford has signed to star as Anna Nicole Smith in an indie biopic that will begin shooting next week.

The previously announced film, “Anna Nicole,” is produced by Jack Nasser and Joseph Nasser with Elie Samaha exec producing. Keoni Waxman directs.

The movie will cover Smith’s life from age 17 until her death in February at 39, including her success as a Playboy centerfold, Guess model and actress, her marriage to billionaire oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, the death of her son and her own death five months after giving birth to a baby girl, Dannielynn. (source)

How can they possibly make a movie about someone who lived their whole life as a caricature? It shouldn’t star Willa Ford, it should be a fucking cartoon. “Where in the World is Anna Nicole’s Corpse?” I can’t wait for all the candle-in-the-wind analogies to start. Anna Nicole shouldn’t be compared to Marilyn Monroe (although she didn’t do shit either, except have nice rack and fuck the president and his brother), because there’s no comparison. Candle in the wind? More like drumstick in the bucket. Here’s some Willa Ford to make all this better. She wants to be bad.

More NSFW Willa after the jump… Read more »

I have no idea what this is from, but I am 1000% sure that I don’t care. Jessica Alba, tan and falling out of a bikini is enough to make me want to quit my job and fucking move to an island. How many times do you have to watch Office Space to realize that you’re that guy? Some days I just think, man this place would really fucking burn. LINKS!

• Jessica Alba in her underwear to make you hate your job even more. (IDLYITW)
• The entire movie Office Space reshot using Peeps. FUCKING PEEPS! I love peeps. (Youtube)
• Cameron Diaz in a bikini showing a little easter egg. She’s religious. (DS)
• David Duchovny is constipated. (Glitterati)
• Larry Birkhead, first redneck in history to claim his own bastard. (IBBB)
• Paris Hilton is a whore, and some other stuff blahblahblah. (Yeeeah)
• Jolene Blalock got some big ass…..(Bastardly)

The chemical geniuses over at the Star and the National Enquirer have uncovered some new evidence in the Anna Nicole Smith death investigation. They report that the cause of death was: Choral Hydrate.

Anna Nicole Smith died with a toxic level of the sleeping medication chloral hydrate in her system.

In a joint newsgathering operation, the National ENQUIRER and Star magazine have solved the mystery of the former Playboy model’s death and provide a detailed portrait of her final days.

The world exclusive details come days before Broward County, Fla., Chief Medical Examiner Joshua Perper will hold a press conference to announce the former Playboy Playmate’s cause of death.

The ENQUIRER and Star have also learned that Anna Nicole had a raging blood infection. The infection was caused by an unsterilized needle and contributed to her death.

The infection was so serious, it would have killed her if she had not overdosed. (source)

I’m no chemist…wait. Yes, yes I am. So I know that chloral hydrate, or 1,1,1-trichloro-2,2-ethanediol for you LeChatlier fans out there, is a powerful water soluble sedative that is rarely prescribed anymore unless your name is Snidely and you want to slip some gabby dame a Mickey Finn. That said, I’m sure that it was total accident when Howard Stern murdered her. Just like John Wilkes Booth! Vote democrat.

Emily Scott is Australian which means she’s hot and will get naked for almost no money at all. Based on my experience drinking Gold Coast ‘Rita’s from Outback Steakhouse and a quick trip to Wiki-shrimp on the barbie-Pedia, I’m an expert on nude Australian chicks. And chaize froiyze.

I met a girl from Australia once who told me that Aussie girls love to flash their tits. She said you could walk though Sydney and just yell at group of girls in the mall, “Hey Sheila lemme see yer tits“, and half of them would take off their shirt. The other half would stab you in the kidney with a large knife and eat a kangaroo with Vegemite. They do that, you know. Anyhoosits. Her name was Sheila and she showed me her tits, but it cost me a $100 dollars. Oh, she was a stripper. Did I mention that? LINKS!

• Teresa Palmer is Wonder Woman. Ans she’s smoking hot. (Gutter Bleed)
• Japanese girl with big tits gets a cab (Crave)
• Britney has narcolepsy or either whe a fat whore. (Yeeeah)
• Find a naked chick from your school. (CH)
• Monica Bellucci is still smokin’ hot. (Bastardly)
• Jenna Fischer nude in WIRED magazine for you fucking nerds. (GMMR)
• Anna Nicole cause o’ death revealed! It was dumb fuckin’ cracker disease. (INO)
• Sanjaya looks like Antonella Barba. ZING! I. CAN’T. BE. STOPPED. (Celebitchy)

NAKED!

Although she’s been kinda on the DL for a bit due to her rehab problems, and with all the Britney Spears/Anna Nicole Smith news infiltrating the last vestiges of sanity in your hippocampus, Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she still has nipples. And she really likes soul food.

The third one is kinda lame so I added a see thru pic of Antonella Barba (not fake!) because she seems to know how to throw a party. She’s a hero. Vote for her.

Anna Nicole Smith, whose decomposing body has been sitting on a slab for weeks awaiting an appeals court ruling, is set to be buried in the Bahamas next to her son in a custom made gown at a burial ceremony that promises to be “over the top”.

The memorial service, with about 300 guests at an undisclosed church, will feature large amounts of pink flowers, her favorite color, and singing from a well-known performer whose name organizers aren’t ready to disclose, said the friend, Patrik Simpson of Beverly Hills, Calif.

“It will be a very beautiful, Anna Nicole send-off,” Simpson told The Associated Press in an interview Wednesday night in the Bahamian capital of Nassau. “Of course it will be over the top because it’s Anna Nicole.” (source)

God. Damn.

How could they top the white trash bacchanalia that was her whole life? They should prop her up Weekend at Bernie’s style and take turns dancing her around the room wearing smeared lipstick and a Marilyn Monroe dress with a bottle of pills glued to one hand and her dog’s leash tied to the other just dragging the dog all around. That would totally rock. When they got tired they could prop her up at the bar with her face in a pitcher of Strawberry Margaritas and no one would ever even notice the difference. Then they could take her on a diving trip and she would discover the ancient buried pirate treasure! She’s so cunning.

Larry Birkhead, one of the baby-daddy candidates for Anna Nicole Smith’s remaining child, recently met the 5 month old little girl and says she was so happy she puked on him.

In their time together, Birkhead fed the baby, burped her – and she threw up on him, according to a interview and profile for Bravo TV, part of which was aired on the Today show Tuesday.

All Birkhead wants, according to the report, is “to be a good father.” As for his memories about Anna Nicole, the Los Angeles-based celebrity photographer says that he most cherished his private time with her.

“Every moment that we got together was kind of … that’s what everything’s about. To me, it wasn’t about the money. [Being with her] that was like gold to me, you know?” Birkhead says in the interview, which was taped before he met Dannielynn. (source)

I’ve never seen so many people fighting over who is the father of a white trash baby. (I wonder if Dannilynn would be so popular if she weren’t heir to the few million dollars  and the bucket of KFC that Anna Nicole left behind?) Normally, an accused father just packs up the truck and heads to another town and starts up a relationship with another redneck stripper that he can bareback - because why bother, she’s just a stripper right? Well strippers have feelings. You hear that dad? I gotta go.

 

Hey, ya’ll. It’s been a great week for news so I wanted to throw in some sexy southern weekend links for you hungover slobs who won’t be leaving the house today. To wit.

• Drew Barrymore bikini pics. Not bad for an old chick. (DS)
• Naked college girl from my old school. Go Cocks. Classy as usual. (CH)
• Seacrest is out. Well not really but wants Matt Lauer’s junk. (Glitterati)
• AntonellaBarba poll: Are the BJ pics for real? You decide. (Bastardly)
• Sharon Stone cougars it up in Paris. I’d hit it. I like the crazy ones. (Smart)
• Jennifer Aniston Topless video. Prolly fake, but it’s still boobies. (Gossip or Truth)
• Anna Kornikova has a case of the Mondays (Jordan)
• Anna Nicole’s body is rotting (Derek Hail)
• Get you very own NSFW T-Shirt you dirty bitches. (FBC)
• Pink in a bikini. I’m turned on but a little frightened. Hold me. (Allie)

Is there really any other kind? Well, I guess there’s always Myrtle Beach girls? ANYWAY. American Idol is back, baby. And now it’s all nude, all the time. Katharine McPhee’s yellow dress malfunction pales in comparison to a Jersey girl in heat. The standout this season, and not for her voice, is bitchy Jersey Shore Rat Antonella Barba, who came out of the gate with semi nude pics of her friends on the beach and of herself taking a piss. And they said grace died with Anna Nicole Smith.

The interesting thing about all this is that Antonella’s BFF (who was eliminated early on in the Idol competition) is rumored to have released the photos herself. Best. Friend. Ever. I’ve met girls like that before and I’ve ususallu lost my wallet and my insurance benefits. She sounds the kind of girl that would blow her best friend’s boyfriend on the way to a funeral. Because really, without love, where would we be?

Steaming hot links and filth.

• Top 10 shortest celebrity hotties. (Uni brow)
• More Cloverfield monster details (Zed’s Dead)
• More Silver Surfer action.(Gutterbleed)
• Celebrity Photo hunt. Sexy style! (LG)
• Pamela Anderson is pregnant and her fetus has HEP C. (Yeeeah)
• Katherine Heigl should STFU and let the bloggers give the opinions around here. (Webster)
• Britney Spears gets fucked by photographer. Not in the good way. (Allie)
• People are bagging on Kim Catrall, but I would rip that shit to cougar pieces. (HolyCandy)
• Penelope Cruz’s lesbian incest kiss was a fake. But you can still rub one out to it. (City rag)
• Famous people are fucking gullible idiots. (Glitterati)
• Bar Rafaeli topless. Kinda. (Jordan)
• Stacey Kiebler is still alive. (Bastardly)
• Heidi Montag poses in a bikini. (DS)

“I need money. I used to be a stick up kid…”

I hope all of you enjoyed Dead Presidents’ Day like I did. I spent a shit load of Benji’s (and brotha wasn’t even the prez) on booze and strippers and watched Swedish porn on my Five-O Plasma. What I didn’t do, was post shit all week. Just bullshit link posts like this one. Now I’m back in it to win it. I’m all caught up on Lost and 24 so I’m ready to hit the gossip circuit, bitches. I’m kinda tired so I’m going through my CD cases for residue. Enjoy the links. And Keeley Hazell because British chicks are usually hot, and I like the way she chews gum.

• Get your drink gadgets on, baby (Crave)
• Jesus talked to Tara Reid. Splash News are whores. (DS)
• Paris Hilton wants you to knock her the FUCK OUT. (Bastardly)
• Obligatory College Girl Boobies. (CH)
• I think Howard K Stern did it. Did what? Well, you decide. (Yeeeah)
• Pick your favorite Britney Hairstyle (INO)
• Brad and Angelina try and drum up some give-a-shit in New orleans. (Gossip or Truth)
• LonelyGirl15 is really a whore. Not really but that makes my Adsense checks better. (Glitterati)
• Bloggers speak out about Britney Spears shaving her head. (Bumpshack)
• Keely Brook is British and mostly naked. Cheerio! (FHM)
• Antonella Barba, American Idol hopeful, blowjob caps (IDLYITW)