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Angelina Jolie is pregnant. With twins. This will bring the kid count up to 6. I wonder if they’ll need name tags?

Angelina Jolie is pregnant again –and she is expecting lover Brad Pitt’s twins, Star has confirmed.

Angie only discovered that she is eating for three over the past week, a source very close to the Lara Croft star reveals. (source)

There’s not much to say here except, if I were Brad Pitt I would keep Angelina Jolie pregnant all the time too. That’s how you get a good woman, fellas. You seduce her with your ability to listen, and your kind words and cuddling, then you trap her by getting her pregnant. It’s all XBox’s and Budweisers after that. I’m a tiger ladies. True story.


Here’s Angelina trying to ride a bike in New Orleans. In pic 4 for some reason, she’s got a melted baby which kinda takes the sexiness out any picture if you ask me.

Angelina Jolie recently said that watching Brad Pitt with their children has given her emotions she’s never felt before and says that she was “blown away” by how well Brad has taken to fatherhood.

Angelina - who adopted Maddox and Zahara before she started dating the actor - said: “Brad has been an incredibly supportive and caring man and a great father. It means a lot to me to have him in my life and to be there for our children because I was prepared and even resigned to raise them alone.”You can’t know how good a father a man will be without actually seeing him in that role. But Brad is so good with Mad, and they’ve bonded in such a beautiful way that it almost makes me cry - and I never cry.” (source)

So.. she’s dead inside. That reminds me a lot of my mom except for the big tits, super hotness, and wanting to sleep her with part.

Links because you’re dead inside like me.

• More nude Kim Kardashian in Playboy. Armenian tits, huzzah. (Crave)
• Sam Raimi talks Spider Man (Gutter Bleed)
• Megan Fox needs to get real and start dating me. (Bastardly)
• Britney runs red lights because she hates children (Yeeeah)
• Some slutty chick from The Hills broke up with some dude from The Hills. (IBBB)
• Britney failed her drug test because she loves drugs. (Evil Beet)
• Writers of all the good shows are on strike because they hate being poor. (GoT)
• Alicia Keyes needs to rethink her MySpace password. (Glitterati)
• Calendar of whores. (Jordan)
• Lindsay Lohan upskirt because she hates herself. (Drunken Stepfather)

Reports were everywhere yesterday that Angelina Jolie and her estranged father, actor Jon Voight, had a secret meeting in New York, but turns out it didn’t happen. Us Magazine says:

Though a source tells Us it was the late Marcheline Bertrand’s “dying wish” that ex-husband Jon Voight, 68, and their daughter, Angelina Jolie, 32, make amends, it hasn’t happened yet. The Internet buzzed with rumors of a truce when Voight was spotted October 7 at the Waldorf-Astoria, the NYC hotel where Jolie is staying. But Voight’s rep tells Us, “It’s all a mistake. They didn’t see each other all weekend.”

Whew, that was close. If I was Brad Pitt, I’d talk to someone about taking a restraining order out on Jon Voight, because nothing beats big tits and daddy issues. They only thing that might be better is a hot chick with the self-esteem of a nuclear spill victim. All you have to do is say her hair looks nice and two minutes later her panties will be on the ceiling fan and you’ll be getting rode like a mechanical bull.

Source

According to reports, Angelina Jolie is upset over the fact that heart recent biopic - about Mariane Pearl and her slain husband, journalist Daniel Pearl - was box office failure.

According to a source close to Angelina Jolie, 32, the actress is “devastated” by the audience rejection of her movie A Mighty Heart (it has earned just $9 million).

“She poured her heart into the story and can’t believe people don’t understand how important it is,” the insider tells Us Weekly in this week’s issue. (source)

Angelina, wanna guess why nobody went to see it? WE KNOW THE ENDING. We saw the whole gruesome thing play out on CNN just a few years ago. Why watch a movie that dramatizes an already traumatic event in our very recent - and very raw history. We were just getting used to not seeing beheadings on Youtube and you go and make a movie about it. That’s kinda rubbing it in our faces - and not in a good way. It’s a funny aspect about American viewing audiences we’re not the type to go for that. We’re brash that way. We don’t mind sad stuff, (hell I cried when they shot Ole Yeller), and we don’t mind biographies that end in tragedy, but give us some time let the rawness fade before you shove it right back down our throats in the thinly veiled guise of a reminder of a terrible tragedy. We got that part. Really.

Here’s a clue:

• Movie about 911 and New York being devastated that ends with two lucky survivors? FLOP.
• Movie about a giant robots devastating NY that ends with two lucky survivors: BOX OFFICE SMASH.

True story. People see movies to forget how shitty the world can be, not to be reminded. Real life is outside our windows and on our 50″ plasmas 24/7. We need a god damn break sometimes. Not smug, psuedo-activism shoved down our throats by privileged Hollywood elite of the type who fly to environmental benefits in private jets and “greenlight” films that tiptoe extremely close to exploitation. The reason A Mighty Heart failed is the same reason Babel didn’t. Not in my back yard applies in full force here - and a very real American dead guy is all up in our backyard. So from me, and everybody else, can you go back to doing some T/A movies. And for god’s sake,eat some fried chicken or something. Here’s Angelina in ELLE thinking about ways to make you cry. Plus one NSFW for old times sake.

Someone give that girl some soul food. I mean, she’s been to Africa, and that’s the mother of all souls but girlfriend needs some sammies. I’ve got a cure for that flat ass and those bony arms; it’s called fried chicken and sweet potato pie. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s not that she isn’t gorgeous. She’s got that motherly glow, totally in-love, blood drinker thing going for her; it’s just that if you take away those 15 pounds of hair and 9 pound lips, you’re left with a skeleton with some gnarly tattoos in expensive shoes.

Here are a few pics of her the Oceans 13 premiere. Enjoy Angelina Skeletor at your own leisure.

{Ed. note: I don’t know Em, she still has her rack. Other than that she’s real fat fatty.-Fatback} 

Angelina Jolie is trying to save the world one child at a time. With Voodoo.

The National Enquirer is reporting that Angelina has a new hobby to help fill those precious empty seconds between saving the world, raising three children (soon to be four) and keeping hunky boyfriend, Pitt, happy. According to a report from Mike Walker she is studying Voodoo.

The magazine reports that Jolie is taking instruction from a Voodoo priestess several times a week. She has also purchased several books on witchcraft spells and is touring the infamous New Orleans cemeteries, according to the report. (source)

We here at FB&c have commented before on Angelina Jolie’s foray into the ars diavoli, so this comes as no surprise us. In fact we’re no stranger to the vodoun (look it up before you get all sanctimonious) ourselves. I grew up Baptist so it’s pretty much the same thing. Except where Voodoo has high priestesses who perform ritualistic sacrifices on live farm animals, we had bitchy judgmental old harpies who called a girl whore just because she had relations with a couple of choir members on that church retreat that time and besides you only did anal anyway so it doesn’t really count. Because Jesus loves virgins.

Here’s Joanna Krupa at Fever Nightclub in Atlanta Ga. There’s really no reason except I like eastern European chicks and she’s partying down south in Hotlanta where it’s warm and dirty. Just like my martinis. Today is dedicated zero talk about American Idol or Antonella Barba or whether or not those pics are her. Promise. Unless some new untagged images land in my inbox. For reals.

In other even sexier news, we’re looking for writers here at FB&C so if you’re sexy, southern and funny drop us a line on the tips page and tell us why. You don’t really have to be southern, but you do have to be sexy and I’m a very harsh critic so photographic eveidence is probably best. Unless you’re a dude. The pay is shit, but I’ll make ya famous. Figure out why these links are better than my site:

• Cameron D smokin’ a fatass J. (IDLYITW)
• Eliza Dushku in a thong, thong, thong,thong, thong. (DS)
• GMMR was at the set of The Office yesterday. She told Rashida Jones I wanted her shit. I’m totally in. (GMMR)
• Kim Kardashian will not release sex tape. But she will destroy the Bajorans. (Bastardly)
• Angelina Jolie is jealous bitch. I guess I ruined her. Sometimes I can be so cruel. (Yeeeah)
• Movies released in February suck, duh. Even if the trailer was freakin’ awesome. (Pajiba)
• Nicole Ritchie might marry Joel Madden. Jimmy smokes crack and I don’t care. (Hail)
• Paris smoked crack and I don’t care. (City Rag)
• Spring is close so look at some trashy collge girl boobies (CH)

Images: source

“I need money. I used to be a stick up kid…”

I hope all of you enjoyed Dead Presidents’ Day like I did. I spent a shit load of Benji’s (and brotha wasn’t even the prez) on booze and strippers and watched Swedish porn on my Five-O Plasma. What I didn’t do, was post shit all week. Just bullshit link posts like this one. Now I’m back in it to win it. I’m all caught up on Lost and 24 so I’m ready to hit the gossip circuit, bitches. I’m kinda tired so I’m going through my CD cases for residue. Enjoy the links. And Keeley Hazell because British chicks are usually hot, and I like the way she chews gum.

• Get your drink gadgets on, baby (Crave)
• Jesus talked to Tara Reid. Splash News are whores. (DS)
• Paris Hilton wants you to knock her the FUCK OUT. (Bastardly)
• Obligatory College Girl Boobies. (CH)
• I think Howard K Stern did it. Did what? Well, you decide. (Yeeeah)
• Pick your favorite Britney Hairstyle (INO)
• Brad and Angelina try and drum up some give-a-shit in New orleans. (Gossip or Truth)
• LonelyGirl15 is really a whore. Not really but that makes my Adsense checks better. (Glitterati)
• Bloggers speak out about Britney Spears shaving her head. (Bumpshack)
• Keely Brook is British and mostly naked. Cheerio! (FHM)
• Antonella Barba, American Idol hopeful, blowjob caps (IDLYITW)

Angelina Jolie thinks kids are fun and a joy and says she would like more.

“I’m very, very lucky. I love the different elements of my life. I love working abroad, and I love being with my kids and I love being with Brad,” Jolie, 31, said Friday at a press event for her movie The Good Shepherd. “I’d like to add many more children and many more obstacles and many more things to my life.”

And she makes every effort to give her children a normal life, despite her own fame. “I’ve made a point to not let it change the way that I live my life, other than I carefully plan my holidays or where we go or where we stay or things like that to try to ensure some kind of quality of life that is private and nice for the kids. But we simply don’t let it affect us.” (source)

Angelina is one kid away from her own It’s a small world ride. But I suppose it’s easy to want several children when you have nannies and maids and caretakers in abundance. Not like our house; my sis and I were lucky if mom would come down from her buzz long enough to remember to turn the heat on. And the closest we ever came to a nanny was watching PBS while mom and boy-toy-du-jour cleaned house.The only room they ever seemed to clean was the bedroom, so we went unsupervised a lot. A lot. But, I learned too cook, drive at 13 and I do have a nice collection of PBS fund drive coffee mugs. Stay in school.

No, I am not implying, nor should you infer that sexy, southern Emily Proctor is the anti-Christ. I’m saying that all women are devils, duh. Sexy devils. Anyway, ’tis the season for friends, happiness and joy and all that shit. So here are some X-mas linX to get you all in the spirit of thingX.

• “Christmas Wishes from the Antichrist”. Check my new story over at Collegehumor.com and don’t forget to vote for it when you’re done. (College Humor)
• New Bastardly Jailbait Lady of the Day (Bastardly)
• Are you sexy and southern? Know someone who is? Or just wanted to pimp this site on your thong? But some X-mas gifts! (FB&C Store)
• Tara Reid. Drunk again. Redundant much? (Smart)
• Want good gadgets for cheap? Check out this totally unsolicited link. (BCD)
• The Jolie-Pitts look like the “it’s a small world” ride at Disney. (Tabloid Whore)
• More boobies with college names drunkenly scrawled on them. Sexy not trashy. For reals. (College humor)
• Pauly Shore is a faker. Idiot. (Celebslam)