NSFW - Fatback Media

Now that we’re down to the final 6 on American Idol and my country hottie Kristy Lee Cook is gone, I’ve been feeling nostalgic for the good old days. A time when American Idol contestants felt it was their God given right to bring scandal and nudity to a prime time family show. I miss Antonella Barba, my Jersey queen.

It appears that on the heels of her underwhelming sex-tape release by Vivid and the news that she may be pregnant in jail, Jessica Sierra is now not pregnant. I didn’t think they allowed coat hangers in lockdown.

A source close to Sierra’s family tells TMZ former “American Idol” star Jessica Sierra is no longer pregnant, though they would not confirm exactly what happened.

Sierra’s pregnancy was revealed in December, while the former reality star was in jail. (source)

This chick is a train wreck, but I have to give her some entrepreneurial spirit creds for capitalizing on her 15 minutes of fame by making a sex tape and getting arrested a few times. Also, for letting a dude stick his thumb in her ass while he was hitting it from behind. Jessica Sierra is a true American Idol.

True story: I once woke up to an ex-boyfriend who snuck into my house using a copy he made of the key he gave back to me. He kissed me on the cheek to wake me up and I thought it was my current boyfriend. Imagine my surprise. Well, multiply that creep factor tenfold and I think you may be getting at how stalkerish the dude serenading Paula Abdul was on American Idol this last night. This guy makes my ex look like a pussycat. I mean had he broken into my house he would have cut me into pieces . . . then “caulked” me. . . .

Four years and a million cigarettes ago that would have been a sexy headline. Now it sounds like something I’d see played in the background of the Suck! Bang! Blow! club in Myrtle Beach. Apparently, former Idol contestant Jessica Sierra made a sex tape and a porn company is trying to market it. Is this another tragedy beset on an already downward spiraling young girl, or attempt to make bail money? YOU BE THE JUDGE.

Just when Jessica Sierra thought that facing eleven years in prison was the worst news of the week, the “American Idol” finalist learned that a major porn company has obtained a sex tape featuring Jess — and they’re preparing to distribute it.

Sources tell TMZ that the video, shot sometime this year, will be released before the end of the year, and just in time for the kickoff of “Idol’s” seventh season.

The classy Miss Sierra was arrested earlier this week for disorderly intoxication and resisting an officer without violence. In a new audio tape of a jailhouse phone call, Sierra can be heard calling those same cops “crackers.” (source)

Is it just me or has the quality of sex tapes gone down in the past few years? When a sex tape gets leaked I want to see some raw amateur sex action with lots of freaky-deaky, not think about my mom crying in the bathtub. And because I can’t round up any pictures of my mom in the bathtub here’s another American Idol: Katherine McPhee’s rack.

PORN TRAILER UPDATE: Here it is bitches.

Completely unrelated: Get pwned by a real street fighter.

• Collen Shannon nude doing a nude video interview. Nude. (CO)
• My girlfriend just randomly sends me nude pictures to make me think of her! How could you possibly forget? (CH)
• Another edition of “Who would you rather” bang (LG)
• More Suicide girls. Nothing like slutty death to get you going. (Crave)

TMZ has more surveillance footage of Jessica Sierra, the former American Idol contestant who faces 11 years and 60 days in prison for violating her parole, this time with more sexy vomiting!

Jessica Sierra at the police station following her arrest on Dec 1 — and it’s not a pretty sight! In the damning footage, Sierra is seen exhibiting erratic behavior; yelling at officers, walking around barefoot, and then capping her performance by vomiting on a cell floor.

Wow, this chick sure has it all figured out. Maybe later she can carjack a cop or kidnap a baby. You know, just to fully drive the point home that she might not be the best at making life choices.

Super reliable sources at People Magazine report that Katharine McPhee just got engaged to this handsome young man. And by super reliable, I mean who gives a shit.

McPhee, 23, recently has been showing off a ring from Cokas, 42. They have been dating for more than a year.

“Katharine is bubbling over with excitement for her upcoming wedding,” a source says. “She is all smiles when she talks about the planning. It sounds like everything is going very smoothly.” (source)

This, like all relationships initiated in Hollywood where one person is hot and famous with a huge rack and the other person is just some dude that looks like he might be able to help you find a solution to your home theater needs, will end with the hot famous chick moving on and the unfamous dude helping you out with that Pioneer 7.1 surround package.

Kellie Pickler was the very image of the sexy southern woman at this year’s CMA awards. She’s got a fake tan, fake tits, fake eyelashes and a false sense of security. a string of pearls and cheatin’ heart and I just might fall in love with her. That said, she’s pretty hot and rack is amazing but she still has busted up teeth. Which means she’d probably let you hit it after a few beers if the lift kit on your truck was high enough. Ever notice how when a chick gets her teeth done everything changes? I never realized there was so much empowerment in those little white veneers. Chicks get all uppity and want to “not do anal” and “go to fancy restaurants” and “give the the cosmetic dentist blowjobs” on my couch while I’m out working my ass of to pay those god damn teeth. Britney Spears has perfect teeth. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

Links, sugar.

• How to drive like an asshole. Or “How to be from Massachusetts” (Crave)
• Revenge is sweet. And cold. (College Humor)
• Britney got the clap…in her eye. Whore. (Yeeeah)
• Britney Spears is fucking lady, bitches. (Allie)
• Kat Von D’s vagina. Whoever the fuck that is. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Eva Mendes will be mine bitches. (Bastardly)
• Paris Hilton. Stupid Rich Whore Philanthropist. (IBBB)
• Laura Weston is smoking hot, mate. (FHM)
• J-LO-Hew gots some big ass tit-tays. (Notorious)

I don’t think I’ve made it a secret how I feel about Katharine McPhee and her two American Idols, but I think I may have just converted to an Assman. Katharine McPhee is set to play a supporting role in the new Anna Faris film House Bunny, where she’ll play a sorority girl with a little problem.

“I am the hippie girl who is free-spirited and gets knocked up and has no father around. I think my whole gimmick is being pregnant,” she said of her role in the comedy, which centers on a former Playboy Playmate (Anna Faris) who signs up to be the house mother at a sorority. “We have all these outfits that I wear that no pregnant woman — I don’t care how hot you are — should ever be wearing.” (source)

Who says pregnant chicks can’t be hot n’ sexy? Pregnant women are glowing and radiant and full of life. They’re also fat and mean with hairy stomachs and an outtie that looks like a Vienna sausage and sometimes they try to kill their babies. Rreeeow.

Things are slow around here and by slow I mean our page loads are slow because of server issues. Sit tight while I piss on the spark plugs and add some 30 weight gear oil. That outta do it. Till then. Hey guess what? Jordin Sparks won American Idol. Wow. Never saw that coming. Nepotism rules. Anyway I didn’t watch. Well, I watched Blake and Doug E Fresh and that was wiggity-wiggity-AWESOME. Then I proceeded to watch LOST and become very, very confused. Flash forward? Who’s in the coffin? Why only Kate? Is Naomi evil? Charlie RIP? February is the next epsiode? WTFF? Anyway. Links.

• Katherine Heigl is engaged to a freaky looking singer. Snore. (Bastardly)
• Cheryl Crowe adopts a baby. Huh? (Pipi)
• Sharon Stone in a bikini. It’s like wanting to bang you’re grandma. Gross but you’d still do it for the cookies. (Glunp)
• Jordin Sparks is a giant who will eat Blake. (Yeeeah)
• Samaire Armstrong may be pregnant. By Jesus M. (DS)
• Veronica Mars got canceled. *sigh* Thanks CW, she was finally old enough for some frontal. (Pajiba)
• Paris gets jailhouse religion. Whore. (GoT)
• Britney Spears in her underwear. Hurray AdSense! (Jordan)
• Happy birthday Linday Lohan! You’re 21 and officially all washed up. Hollywood is a bitch. (DH)

More Jennifer Ellison for no reason. Except that reason.

God. Damn.

I know I’ve been harsh on Kellie Pickler before, and I ‘ve probably said some mean things about her like how she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I take all that back. Nothing says remorse like rescinding a recent vituperation because a chick got a giant rack. Oh, they’re probably fake. What am I, some kind of critical bitch? No. No I am not.

Actually she looks pretty hot here. Her dress is sexy, yet elegant and her hair is really cute; which is in stark contrast to when she first debuted those melons on American Idol earlier this season with the Tanya Tucker hair. You don’t want Tanya Tucker hair. Tanya Tucker put the whore in country whore. The point? Big tits are no good if you look like chick that Glen Campbell used ride like a rhinestone cowboy. There’s a cancellation effect. It has to do with some high level physics. And Jim Beam and white crosses. More Kellie: