NSFW - Fatback Media

Actor Kiefer Sutherland has just turned himself in to authorities in Glendale, CA (as agreed) from charges stemming from a DUI arrest earlier this year.

Kiefer was just booked. He is officially an inmate. The booking records show he is 5′10″, 150 lbs, blue eyes, blond hair, 40 years old. The arrest time (surrender) was 5:30 PM and he was booked 16 minutes later…

He was scheduled to turn himself in on December 21, which happens to be his birthday. The plan was to serve when the show was on Christmas hiatus. But because of the writers strike and the fact that the show is on ice, Kiefer checked in earlier. (source)

Other reports say that his stay may be as long as 48 days.

Forty eight days? For one DUI? WTF? This is LA. Paris Hilton had 2 DUI’s and got charged with driving without a license ON HER WAY TO COURT for one of those DUI’s and she only serve line 23 seconds in jail. Lindsay Lohan was charged with cocaine possession, car jacking, DUI (and stealing my heart) and she spent longer in the car ride over to the jail than she did in jail. This is Jack Bauer people! Well not really, but in LA every thing is fake so I say LET JACK BAUER GO. To show my solidarity, I put the CTU Ringtone on my phone. And let’s be honest, the ladies love the ring tones.

And now 24 hotties.

I know this week’s posts have been lesbian heavy so I decided to give something back to my lesbian soul sistahs and put up some pictures of super caliente Eve Mendes. Remember me at the GLAAD Awards. Everyone else can click the links.

• Mariska Hargitay MILF’s it up at the SAG Awards. (Bastardly)
• Tara Reid’s new plastic sugery is okay with Jesus. (DS)
• Eva Mendes accessorizes with a back brace. Still sexy. (Yeeeah)
• Smokin’ Aces reviewed. I saw this flick. It’s like Ocean’s 12 meets Reservoir Dogs. With Alicia Keyes cleavage. (Pajiba)
• Zooey Deschanel is hot and so is sister who is on Bones. Bones. Heh heh. (Smart)
• Jaime Pressly is hot and pregnant. What? You’d hit it. (Subvert)
• “Armed and Famous” just blew it’s own brains out. PONCH!?! (Socialite’s Life)
• Make some T-shirts about how cool you think you are. (Cafepress)
• Episode Recap of this week’s 24. I think there is a waterskiing scene next week. (GMMR)

Also here’s a link to iFilm’s superbowl ads in streaming FLASH 8 QUALITY! Or so they tell me.

So the Golden Globes were on last night I hear, but I’m pretty sure that they got the lowest ratings ever because the show was on against the Season Premier of 24: Part Awesome. I DVR’d the first half and watched 4 hours of 24 in row, so that makes me a hard core, 100% American killer of things not American. Like Jack F’ng Bauer. I could write about dresses and the red carpet and who got drunk at the Golden Globes, but I really don’t care right now because I am high on patriotism, nuclear radiation and Jack Bauer. There are two reasons nobody watches the Golden Globes:

1. No nudity (it’s called the Golden Globes, WTF?)
2. No Jack Bauer

I know Keifer showed up for the GG’s, but not as Jack Bauer. Because nobody was tortured, nuked or exposed as a terrorist at the Golden Globes. In case you missed the 24 Season Premiers, in which case you’re most likely on an FBI watch list anyway, you missed Jack Bauer kill a man by CHEWING THROUGH HIS NECK, and Jack killing CTU agent Curtis Manning (RIP), and a nuclear bomb exploding in Valencia CA killing 1000’s of people and those sweet, sweet oranges that I like so much. Ooops. Spoiler alert. Suckas. Here are some links to get you going on this day after Dr. King day.

• Super Sexy LaLa has the mission briefing from all 4 hours of the 24 Season Premier (GMMR)
• Jack Bauer at the Golden Globes. No nukes here, terrorist bitches. (BumpShack)
• Wikipedia entry for Valencia Ca. It already has the 24 nuke on it. That’s wiki-quick! (Wikipedia)
• 24 is the new Blog. (Trent)
• Jessica Biel at the Golden Globes. Hmm. Let’s see. OH! Jessica Beil should bang Jack Bauer. In a clandestine manner. (Bastardly)
• Keely Hazel sex tape. Ok….Ok. Keely Hazel. Um. Is a Chechen terrorist. And she’s giving dude a BJ on tape. Bitch. (Yeeeah)

I’m spent. And I can’t wait for next Monday at 9. Now…24 hotties.

Elisha Cuthbert of 24 is the cutest former Popular Mechanics for Kids host. Ever. This is Elisha misusing the shit out of a hockey stick.  We’ve had hockey for like 45 minutes down south, so I’m no expert but I’m completely sure she’s doing something entirely wrong here. Unless she’s a serial killer. She’s Canadian and I think it’s a law that you have to play hockey or else serve in the army or something so she may know what she’s doing. Although, I’m pretty sure they don’t let girls in Canada join the army or play hockey though, so she’s probably going to get deported. Traitor. Show you’re pride for the good ole USA by turning your heat way the hell up, open a window and click these links.

• Lindsay Lohan is freeloading white trash bitch. (Mollygood)
• Emma Boughton: Hot or Not? (Bastardly)
• Eva Mendes does Maximand is all kinds of tastefully nekkid. (Yeeeah)
• Sienna Miller is a naked drugged out party girl playing a naked drugged out party girl. (Drunken Stepfather)
• College girls and their naked boobies. (College Humor)
• Not that baseball has any rules but Barry Bonds is all hopped up on goofballs (Bumpshack)
• Some old Tiffany Amber Theissen for dat ass. (Subvert)

Nothing like a good catfight to get the day started off right. Except it’s closing time and there really wasn’t a catfight to speak of. That’s why I have a picture of Diora Baird. Non sequitur to follow non sequitur. There is order in chaos and entropy follows distinct patterns. I think I can see the future baby!

• Kim Kardashian has a giant rack..oh and she does some stuff. (Bastardly)
• Renee Zellweger misses the golden ratio by the value of Plank’s constant. (Yeeeah)
• Ricky Schroeder will be on this season of 24. He and Jack Bauer will ride that little train through his living room and get into adventures! (Socialite’s Life)
• Britney wears panties this week. Jesus showed me the way. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Gwyneth Paltrow foams more clotted cream. Those Brits and their rich history. Sigh. (Bumpshack)
• Uma Thurman is 6 foot tall and full o’ muscles. (Smart)
• Van Wilder - Part crap: eruditely, disparately, twice-reviewed by Dustin Rowles. (Pajiba)
• Lindsay Lohan: Cherokee Indian. All ends in tears my friends. (ICYDK)
• Witness the mastery of the Michelangelo of MS Paint (College Humor)

While I figure out the rest of life’s answers feel free to browse more of Diora Baird Naked. I run a tight ship here folks.

Obviously, there is a system failure, because Rush Limbaugh is banging Chloe O’Brien from 24. In the WTF? of my holiday weekend it turns out that Mary-Lynn Rajskub, who plays Chloe O’Brien on 24 is apparently “dating” Rush Limbaugh.

Recent rumors have been circulating that uber-conservative pill-popping radio host Rush Limbaugh, who recently ran into some trouble for possession of unauthorized Viagra, has been dating actress Mary-Lynn Rajskub, better known as “Chloe” from 24. Tongues were set wagging after photographs were taken of Limbaugh affectionately kissing Rajskub during a recent event at the Heritage Foundation.(source)

I love 24. And as a professional computer network hacker, I have a special place in my black hacker’s heart for the untraditionally sexy Chloe O’Brien. She’s the /perl in my #!/usr/bin, baby. I’d like to put the old CTRL-Z on this whole thing but those last two images just made me vomit bile.(Bile inducing images(last 2) and lead via:Junkiness)

Kiefer Sutherland has reportedly signed a very lucrative deal that will keep Jack Bauer and 24 around for at least three more years. Although the show has only been confirmed for one more season as of this date, this news and the hints of a movie deal suggest that we’ll be seeing a lot more of Jack Bauer and the CTU gang.

Details on the deal were sketchy, but sources pegged the acting portion alone at more than $40 million for the three seasons, which could make Sutherland the highest-paid actor in drama series.

While the deal with Sutherland locks him in for three additional years beyond the current fifth season of “24,” the 20th TV/Imagine TV-produced show so far has been picked up for one additional season.(source)

Three more years of Jack Bauer torturing the shit out of everyone that crosses his path. I can handle that. 24 is one of those shows that I just like and I don’t why. Maybe its the healthy dose of violence and intrigue with a little T&A mixed in. Kinda like my real life.

I don’t how they are going to pull off three more seasons because I think Jack Bauer will have killed all the terrorists on earth by the end of this season. Maybe they’ll do a cross-over show like 24 on LV-57: Jack Bauer vs. Aliens. Oh, the real reason I posted this was to put up some pictures of Stana Katic, the slavic hottie who plays Collette Stenger on the show. These are all the images I could find of her that were decent which means, she hasn’t been in much here in the US ( she was on ER for a while) or she was was a porn star in Croatia under a different name. I’m hoping it was the latter. I’ll post better images if I find some.

(images)