NSFW – Fatback Media

On November 18th (that’s fresh news!), Britney Spears reportedly walked into the Hustler Store in West Hollywood and sexed the place up with her sensual movements like a sex tiger in heat. Wait. No. She came in high, showed her box to everyone and shoplifted some shit on the way out the door as seen here in the longest pull-quote ever.

Spears loaded up on naughty skivvies and headed to the fitting rooms. But store employees “told her they don’t allow people to try on underwear,” a source at the scene says. “She was really upset.”

Adds the source: “She looked out of it. There was nothing going on behind her eyes.”

At that point, Spears threw a fit, and took off her own underwear before trying on a pair of boyshorts (with “Barely Legal’ stitched across the rear end) in the middle of the store while 15 other customers looked on.

An eyewitness tells Us, “The employees kept saying ‘Don’t change out here!’ She’s just like, ‘Well, I couldn’t take them in the fitting room!’ It was like dealing with a child.”

Spears’ tantrum only continued. “The staff told her she had to pay, and she rolled her eyes, but paid with a credit card,” the source tells Us. As payback, “on her way out, she went up to a mannequin, snatched the wig off the head, and stole it!”

(source)

At this point, I think we can agree that Britney is the antichrist. I bet she has that tattoo on her hand that lets her get stuff for free like they told us in Sunday School. So I guess this is the rapture. But I haven’t disappeared yet. What the fuck, GOD?