NSFW – Fatback Media

 

The not-so-anticipated sex tape of The Hills star Lauren Conrad (LC to you and me baby) and Laguna Beach star Jason Wahler, has been permanently shelved according to reports. Maybe her daddy can step in make it all better for his little angel.

A TMZ source said the alleged tape, news of which first broke on Perez Hilton, is “very vanilla” with “no hard core sex.” The source adds that LC and Jason are basically “messing around.” (source)

Fuckin’ rich kids. All that good breeding and training and they can’t even be left alone to make a proper sex tape. No hard core? WTF? Why even film it? Nobody wants to see a spoiled rich brat fumble with a bra for 10 minutes, then bust a nut while he’s trying to take his wang out of his designer jeans. In my house we don’t take lens cap off unless we’re about to break some fucking laws. This why rich women always run off with the pool boy or the gardener (or the sexy internet writer). While you rich guys are thinking about money and bitches, we’re having fun living paycheck to paycheck, drinking your scotch and fucking your wife.