NSFW - Fatback Media

“I will physically kill you…”

Lindsay Lohan cares. She cares about the people around her, and like all stone cold killers with a secret past, she’s ready do whatever it takes to make sure that nothing…nothing, ever happens to her loved ones.

In a bizarre interview with Allure, Lindsay Lohan says she takes on the role of protector to her friends and family. “When my friends and family are around me I feel like they’re safe . . . When my friends have left me - I’ve just seen everything collapse. They’re not safe without me,” the starlet eerily told the magazine. (source)

God damn right. Just like when they killed the woman I loved and left me for dead. That was the last mistake they ever made. I thought exacting vengeance with extreme prejudice would quell the pain and let me learn how to love again. However, in a world of sexual intrigue , and duplicitous liaisons, where desire can be more dangerous than the para-military weapons and training at your disposal, sometimes the last thing you’re looking for becomes your very salvation. That, or lots of porn.