I said God Damn, Jessica.
Jessica Simpson was out sans Mayer this week when she was accosted by a homeless man. Luckily, Jessica’s body guard jumped in to save her and her new, even more ginormous-er rack.
While walking her girls from Parc to a faraway parking lot, Jess had a close run-in with a dreadlocked homeless man, who was curious as to why everyone was taking pictures of her. Her sarcastic reply — “I don’t know.” Simpson’s leather-clad Nick Lachey-alike then stepped in and shielded her from the curious streetperson. (Source)
Holy shit. Jessica Simpson’s rack has grown from 34DD’s to 36WTF’s. Just when you think the world has finally led you down the last chute, and is about to finish you off with a pneumatic bolt to the back of the head before grinding you up into to E. coli ridden, shit burgers, something like this happens. Hope. Awesome just free-climbed a mountain naked, dove off into the cockpit of a jet fighter and strafed the mediocre with fiery bullets of excellence before parachuting down into a pool of hot burning sexual musk. Like from a horny skunk. But not stinky. Musky. Booyah. Red wine and and twinkies are the BASF of boobies.
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Posted in Breasts, Gossip, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer |
By Fatback
2 Comments to “I said God Damn, Jessica.”
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April 18th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
[...] the hell? How the hell can Jessica Simpson go from areola peaking perfection (which was just TWO DAYS AGO), to this? Did she travel through time? Did she become a middle school [...]
April 19th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
[...] the hell? How the hell can Jessica Simpson go from areola peaking perfection (which was just TWO DAYS AGO), to this? Did she travel through time? Did she become a middle school [...]