Lena Headey sexes up 300

Lena Headey, who plays Queen Gorgo in the new movie 300, may be a good reason to buy a ticket. You may be thinking, “But hey dude, I went to History class, I remember the battle of Thermopylae, don’t they all die?” The answer is yes. Yes they all die. And the “good guy”, King Leonidas is completely humiliated and beheaded and his head is kicked around the town for all to laugh at. GREAT FUCKING STORY. Right? Kinda that sheep’s stomach filled pie of haggis-y awesomeness known as Braveheart. Great flick. Except for the part about, EVERYBODY FUCKING DYING. If I want to see reality, I’ll just turn on CNN and cry myself to sleep again. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Lena Headey is naked for most of the movie. Or at least she should be. Nothing smooths over a shitty ending like gratuitous nudity. In case you’re wondering, Lena is the actress who played Angelika the German chick with the Scottish accent, in the Brothers Grimm (you know the DVD that’s in your mailbox from Netflix) because that’s how accurate that movie was. More precisely…nudity!