NSFW – Fatback Media

Jessica Simpson, who’s currently dating singer John “LuckyFuck” Mayer, recently told an interviewer that she wants to adopt a baby.

So what’s getting Jessica in the mothering mood? Her dogs, at least according to the New York Post’s Cindy Adams. But the pop princess, whose been cavorting all over America with boyfriend John Mayer, isn’t quite ready to pump out little Jesses. (source)

Well that makes perfect sense. I like that we are looking to our pets for inspiration now. Why wait to have kids until you’re financially and emotionally prepared, when you can watch a puppy piss on your new rug and go buy a baby instead? I’ll tell you why. Because that’s what idiots do. Children are not toys that you can discard later when you’re bored.  Children are people. Little, tiny, not very smart people with small hands so they can get into all that machinery down at the factory better. Plus they’ll work for food.

The only pictures I could find of Jessica were of her walking in the rain the other day and since this site is about taking Awesomeness for ride into Funtown then slipping it a roofie, having rough sex with it then leaving it tired and smoking a menthol in the bed of a 4X4, I’m posting some pictures of April Scott as Daisy Duke in the Prequel series Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning.  Because before they became the Dukes, they were just redneck cousins fucking each other for moonshine.