Britney Spears is the Antichrist

Britney Spears frightened, confused and confounded clinic staff and patients recently when she wrote “666″ on her head and ran around screaming,”I am the Antchrist!” at the Promises Rehab Center in Malibu, CA. She also reportedly attempted to hang herself with a bed sheet later on that same night. She also, allegedly contacted Keven Federline days later about a reconciliation.

“She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt.”

But within days out-of-control Britney had swung from SUICIDAL to MATRIMONIAL as she told hubby Kevin Federline she wanted to take him back, renew their wedding vows and get PREGNANT.

The unpredictable 25-year-old star is now planning a new life for them and their two children in Louisiana as she sees out her stay at the Promises Clinic in Malibu, California.

A source close to the clinic said: “Britney has realised what a rock Kevin has been to her, and how out of control she has acted recently.

***

“She is still very vulnerable. Last Saturday she said she had the number 666 written onto her bald head. She was crying, and shouting, â€˜I am the Antichrist!’

“The clinic people just didn’t know what to do. Then she started screaming, â€˜I’m a fake! I’m a fake!’ It must have been really frightening.

“When she tried to hang herself it was more a cry for help.”

And Kevin has responded to it. We exclusively revealed last week that he visited her in the clinic and promised to stand by her if she cleaned up her act and got well. (source)

I don’t even think a capital WTF? or even writing out capital WHAT THE FUCK? can really cover this. Holy shit Britney. I was just kidding all those times. I’m in pretty good with Jesus now, so we can’t really hang anymore. I know we have that contract, but I never really learned all those songs on guitar and the monkey…well we know how that worked out now don’t we? Look. Let’s just agree to disagree on this. Ride the snake. Look, CHEETOES!