Britney Spears: Sith Lord.

I’ve figured out what’s going on with Britney. She’s not crazy. She’s in fucking Jedi training. Degoba style, bitches. You see a crazy bitch who abandons her kids and shaves her head for no reason. No. No. No. I see a Sith Lord (lady?) getting hard core on some Jedi mind tricks. While you were concerned with her hair on eBay, she was perfecting her fighting skillz on a an SUV. Guess what?
BOOYAH. THAT. JUST. HAPPENED.

Mind=Blown.

Sources tell ET that BRITNEY SPEARS returned to Promises residential treatment center on Wednesday night after checking out of the Malibu, CA, facility earlier that morning.

Also on Wednesday, a desperate Britney was photographed using an umbrella to hit a car outside the home where her ex, KEVIN FEDERLINE, is reportedly staying. The photos reveal a furious Britney, dressed in white shorts and a hooded sweatshirt, repeatedly striking an SUV with an umbrella. (source)

Britney is going old school. Shaolin style. She’s chaffing crotch, creeping ceasarian. And she’s gonna be all over you like bad case of scabies. UNLIMITED POWER.