Marissa Miller apparently still perfect

Masturbate. It's okay. I'm used to it.

This is unbelievably perfect model Marissa Miller who, according to IMDB is 28 years old. But how can that be you ask? Twenty eight in human years is like a hundred and eleventy in model years. She should have a collapsed nostril, anal fistulas and only weigh 43 lbs by now. She was either created by aliens to destroys us, or, if the voices I’ve been hearing are right, the Lord wants me to masturbate a lot more. She’s 5′8″, 34D-23-35, is from southern California and came in second in the Kelly Slater Invitational Surf Contest in Fiji. And that’s only because Kelly Slater was masturbating to her while surfing and got in her way. Granted, she didn’t surf. She just walked down to the water in a bikini and said mahalo and entire island of Fiji rubbed one out right then and there. True story. That’s why she’s such an inspiration.
Yep. I'm just that perfect. Don't get any on my dress. Go ahead. Rub one out. God says it's okay.Masturbation is the key. I'll still respect you. Promise.Take a break. Rub one out. It's cool.

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Posted in Gossip, Mary Lynn Rajskub |
By Fatback


2 Comments to “Marissa Miller apparently still perfect”

  1. Grey’s Anatomy’s Sandra Oh Doesn’t Mind Being Called Ugly - The Bastardly Says:
    January 19th, 2007 at 5:30 pm

    [...] - Marissa Miller apparently still perfect [Fatback and Collards] - No Dough for Dita [Dlisted] - Pretty Messed Up Celebrity Illustrations [CityRag] - Jennifer Walcott to end a long week [Horny Oyster] - Krystal Forscutt looking very sexy! [Double Viking] [...]

  2. Andrew Says:
    January 21st, 2007 at 11:04 pm

    I’ve been secretly in love with Marissa Miller since ‘99 when I saw here in a movie at the now defunct Romp.com - someone managed to find that footage and put it into a YouTube video that defies logic as to the hotness it contains. Enjoy at
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQOUwcFMRAw

    A

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