Tara Conner is a good cryer

Real tears. Honest.

Miss USA Tara Conner is sooooo sorry y’all. Look at those tears! I mean she just got a second chance to be our Ambassador of American-ossity and Apple Pie-ness, y’all. That’s really somethin’. Here are some of the details from her fake tear-filled press conference.

I wouldn’t say that I’m an alcoholic. I think that would be pushing the envelope,” said Conner, who was known in New York’s nightclub scene for drinking hard, snorting cocaine and hooking up with a long string of men.

The beauty queen said she celebrated her 21st birthday Monday with Diet Coke and iced tea - but Trump said he’ll force her to take regular drug tests.

“I don’t think she’s denying she’s an alcoholic,” said Trump, who owns the Miss USA pageant. “She can be a great example for troubled people - and she’s troubled - for troubled people … that have problems with alcohol.” (source)

Miss USA is very lucky to have been given the privilege to once again represent the USA and be the role model that little girls all over America need. Did she give up when she was caught feeling up a teen beauty queen or busted doing coke and sleeping around? Hells no! She did what her title and standing demanded for the situation. She gave Donald Trump a blow job. Because that’s how you solve problems when you’re Miss USA, god damn it. You put on some black nail polish, a smart suit with just enough cleavage and give Donald Trump a blow job. God bless America.

Y'all. My daddy never held me. For reals. I wonder if I'll have to keep blowing Trump after this?See these totally reals tears?Yeah. Feeling better already.Once for every state in the union, Tara.

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Posted in Gossip, Only in the South..., Tara Conner |
By Fatback


2 Comments to “Tara Conner is a good cryer”

  1. Celebrity gossip - see it our way | Tara Conner is a good liar, I mean cryer! | Says:
    December 21st, 2006 at 1:11 pm

    [...] “I don’t think she’s denying she’s an alcoholic,” said Trump, who owns the Miss USA pageant. “She can be a great example for troubled people - and she’s troubled - for troubled people … that have problems with alcohol.” Source: Fatback and Collards [...]

  2. fase Says:
    December 31st, 2006 at 8:31 pm

    Let cut the crap, we all really know way she so greatful. After all it was her loose ways that got her in this mess and in my opinion it was herloose ways which got her outof this mess

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