NSFW – Fatback Media

Paris Hilton’s biological clock is ticking like this…. The socialite claims she’s ready for motherhood because she’s good with animals and Britney’s kids.

The partying heiress says that hanging around with her new best friend, Britney Spears, and Spears’ two tykes has made her want to reproduce.
“It’s been my dream to have four babies by 30,” the 25-year-old heiress announced, reports Life & Style Weekly. And Hilton thinks she’s highly qualified for motherhood, explaining: “I look after animals, so I’d have a lot to give my kids.” (source)

So that automatically qualifies her for parent-teacher conferences? Kids are just like animals, except with less hair. You just have to feed them once in a while and make sure their cages are clean, right? Paris has a better chance of winning the Nobel Prize for virginity than to successfully rear a child. I can see Paris trading her child to a Colombian drug cartel by mistake. Not to mention the court generally rules against a cocaine-filled hotel room equipped with night vision cameras as a stable, nurturing environment. She quickly qualified for this week’s FB&C MINLTF, mom I would not like to fraggle. Ick! Here are some pics of that Paris Hilton Imposter in Playboy because no one needs to see Paris Hilton naked again.