NSFW – Fatback Media

Jessica Simpson is apparently over her self imposed waiting period (did it ever start?) to start seeing other men. Rumor has it that she has been “close” with Dane Cook, Zach Braff and John Mayer all in the last few months. According to TMZ she was seen getting very close to Dane Cook a few nights ago at the Employee of the Month premier party.

But just two nights before [the premier party], as TMZ reported exclusively, the pop princess showed up at the Four Seasons hotel in Los Angeles, and promptly disappeared into the night – or, at least, an elevator – with rocker John Mayer. As for her evening at Manhattan hotspot Tenjune with Cook, Page Six spies say that the “Employee” co-stars spent the evening “whispering into each other’s ears” (of course, it’s a very loud club) and that Dane “kept coming back to her every time he was pulled away.” At the end of the night, however, Jess left with her real constant companion – hairdresser Ken Paves. (source)

I’m not sure what Ken Paves did to her hair but I know that it’s about 40 years too late. I’m so confused by her hair that I’m not even sure what I mean by that. Also, she’s not wearing a bra. But before you get out your Photoshop lens and a some tissues, take a closer look. She’s wearing those little rubbery things that girls get in the lingerie section that stick to their boobs and hold them up when they want it to appear that they are bra-less. Unfortunately, those things cover up the nipples, ruining the whole effect. It’s disingenuous and confusing. Kinda like a Stuff Magazine shoot. “Hey, here are some boobies on a hot model, but unfortunately this model is an alien and mysteriously has no nipples under her fish-net seethru shirt.” The question you may be asking is: why was I in the lingerie section looking at rubbery boobie holder uppers? Research, people. Pure research.