Private: Clay Aiken is not convincing

Clay Aiken, the American Idol runner-up from like 50 years ago, is trying to build his singing career while dealing with panic attacks, the pressures of publicity and rumors that he is gay. recently, he sought treatment for anxiety symptoms bought on by crowded rooms.

“I said, ‘Listen, here’s the, here’s the thing. I don’t understand why I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack when I go into these rooms. I don’t get it,” he said.Aiken’s doctor said that he was experiencing symptoms of panic attacks. (source)

Simon Cowell had so sympathy for him.

“Oh give me a break. Let me have a choice, I’m going to work in a coal mine for 14 hours a day or I’m going to be a runner-up on ‘American Idol.’ Give me a break, idiot.”

“They’re not working for a living, they’re becoming famous … no one’s put a gun to their head … Clay, whatever he may have said, would not swap what he’s got now for what he had three years ago.” (source)

First of all, I don’t care if Clay Aiken is gay or not. But he could be straight, right? All dudes get case of the vapors and flit about like a histrionic little girl when they walk into a crowded room, don’t they? (There might be spiders). The more he tries to convince us that’s he not the more he shows us that he is. Here’s a tip. If Amanda Bynes was more convincing as a straight male in She’s The Man, then you’re gay. Also, if you watched She’s The Man you’re probably gay. Wait. Here are some pictures of Katharine McPhee’s rack so I can reassert my manliness. I’m touching my junk right now, ladies. Boobies!