NSFW – Fatback Media

The Los Angeles city attorney formally charged Paris Hilton with DUI. According to reports she was charged with two misdemeanors based on her arrest earlier this month.

A spokesman for the city attorney’s office says Hilton was rung up for driving under the influence and driving with a blood-alcohol level of 0.08 or above.

Hilton was pulled over on Sept. 6, shortly after leaving a charity party at Hollywood hotspot Dragonfly, when LAPD officers noticed her Mercedes McLaren SLR driving erratically.

Per the police report, officers observed “symptoms of intoxication” and issued a field sobriety test. Although police refused to confirm, sources claimed Hilton blew a 0.08 on the Breathalyzer test, the minimum blood-alcohol level required for a DUI in California. (source)

Some of the “symptoms of intoxication” probably included Paris falling out of the car, taking her clothes off and trying give the arresting officer a blowjob in some kind of Pavlovian response to the dash mounted police camera. It’s just a shame that Paris won’t be sharing a cell and getting dry fisted by a gang-banger chick named Mesquita, who has a double teardrop tattoo under her eye. That’s because the maximum fine is $1000.00. For DUI. It turns out LA is the land of dreams and opportunities and cheap vehicular homicide. Now to make you feel better about all this unpleasantness, here’s a picture of Paris Hilton with a monkey. A monkey, I tell you! Everyone loves a monkey!