Cameron Diaz is legal

Cameron Diaz is in court.

Hey ya’ll. Emily here. Cameron Diaz should have been a lawyer. Or on Law & Order. That’s basically the same thing.

Cameron Diaz filed a police report Wednesday accusing a photographer of assault with a deadly weapon for allegedly driving his car at her, police said. Diaz and her boyfriend, Justin Timberlake, were leaving a friend’s home in Hollywood just after midnight Wednesday when a photographer who had been hiding in the bushes jumped out and tried to snap a picture of the pair, said police Officer April Harding. The couple chased the photographer “a short distance,” she said. “The photographer got into his car and drove toward Diaz and Timberlake, causing Diaz to jump out of the car’s way,” Harding said. No one was immediately arrested and no suspects have been identified.(source)

I’ve always lived by the philosophy that if you expect us to pay to watch your movies, you can damn well expect us to sit outside your home in the oak tree, eating peanuts and ultimately breaking an arm because the camera battery died and you fell from the tree trying to get another from your fanny pack. It was that one time, okay?? And even the judge took pity on me, citing the term “boundary challenged” opposed to the hypercritical “stalker”. And all that aside, this anklet accentuates my legs and I have always thought chrome was a flattering color. Don’t judge me.