Suri Cruise: Not an alien.
So late last night while the world slept I was working for you people. I was busy bringing you the hottest story of the day/week/month. Many Bothans died for this information. Well not really. Some person emails me this shit while I sleep off the red wine buzz.
“I was overjoyed in being pregnant,” she said, “and then had to withstand ridicule about my pregnancy when it was the most normal, non-controversial thing imaginable.”
Of speculation in the press, Holmes says: “All those things were invented.”
So it’s official. Suri Cruise is a real live 3 year old Asian kid with blue eyes and a 1970’s haircut. Is it me or does Suri have eyes like that baby at the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey?
Suri Cruise: “You are all doomed…”
Posted in Katie Holmes, Scientology, Suri Cruise, Tom Cruise |
Written by Fatback on September 6, 2006 – 6:20 am
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13 Comments to “Suri Cruise: Not an alien.”
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September 6th, 2006 at 9:32 am
i refuse to believe that this is proof Suri’s not an alien. they’ve been probing us long enough to make one that looks like us….
September 6th, 2006 at 10:54 am
The kid is obviously the product of cutting edge science and evil spellcraft from an ancient druid cult. Blessed be.
September 6th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
so uhh…maybe i’m a little lost but, how does tom + katie = asian kid…??
September 6th, 2006 at 1:44 pm
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September 6th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
That child SURI sure looks ASIAN!
Tom Cruise seems the type to not get his
wee-wee wet, so he had some test tube
done on Katie to have a baby…
You are geting old TOM!
September 6th, 2006 at 2:43 pm
“OLD” Tom Cruise, we women think you should
check in to a retirement home for good!
September 6th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
If you focus on the aliens eyes long enough you can see an image of Xenu eating cheetos.
This looks like an ad for Photoshop software, really! That is all…
September 7th, 2006 at 10:24 am
Looks nice!
That is a cute baby
September 7th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Yup its a alien allright, Ive seen adult versions with the same features. Dont let him know you know or your gonna get probed hard. They just sent tom the PX60000 ultra MK probe now with larger nubblies and bumps.
September 7th, 2006 at 10:39 pm
Beautiful, but resembles Damien from the first Omen.
September 8th, 2006 at 11:42 am
come guys it’s a baby! And a cute one at that!!!! Don’t you remember that when you talk about other people’s kids your kids are going to turn out ugly?
September 9th, 2006 at 9:54 pm
Is it possible the baby has Downs Syndrome? She just looks STRANGE. Another question: Why is it nobody seems to want to brush the girl’s hair? it’s sticking out every which way and just looks messy. That’s how Katie’s been looking in every picture I’ve seem. Is this some Scientology taboo? Don’t touch the hair?
November 20th, 2006 at 2:45 pm
Did you ever wonder why that SURI was hidden
for so long? She does look like a “mongo”
DNA says brown eyed couple cannot have
a “blue eyed kid”… So she looks like her
mother who I think is not katie Holmes, but
KATIE HOLMELY.
What were you thinking Tom!
You are getting real old, I would not pay a
“penny” to see your CRAPPY Movies!
Good luck flipping BURGERS…