NSFW - Fatback Media

So, sexy midwest hotness Tina over at Glitterati scooped me on this but I though that it warranted comment anyway. Apparently, Katie Cassidy is going to be Lucy Ewing and the role will not go to Jessica Simpson or Scarlett Johansson. I reported this story a few weeks ago so I will again proclaim that have magical powers and that I can see into the future. That doesn’t really make sense but neither does making a feature length film based on a 1980’s series that was 80% cast with aging alcoholic actors with story lines that at best were hackneyed re-hashes of Bonanza and Big Valley plotlines drowned with Jim Beam and southern drawls.

Although the show is considered to be the most successful prime time soap opera ever, it arguably jumped the shark in the 1979-80 season (Season 2) during the ‘Who Shot JR?’ story line that, despite the fact that it captivated an entire nation of viewers and even the Turkish Parliament, received backlash by critics for a backfilled script that seemed written after the fact. I was sleeping in Incredible Hulk Underoos, in my General Lee replica bed with Dukes of Hazzard sheets at the time so I can only go with what the old folks tell me happened. God bless ‘em. So, if that isn’t boring enough for you, check out the insanely accurate Wikipedia for more on Dallas.

Oh. Here are some more images of the insanely cute and powder fresh, Katie Cassidy.