April Scott is the new Daisy Duke

April Scott is the new Daisy Duke

This story has been confirmed for a while, but I a) had never seen April Scott and b) didn’t know she was a little christian hottie from down south. (I like my girls with some god damn values). According to her website she actually grew up on a farm with cows and shit which made me fall instantly in love with her. Country girls kick ass.

Hailing from Southeast Missouri where she was raised on a farm – yes with cows and chickens, drop dead gorgeous April Scott blends the best of French, Native Americans, and Spanish blood – Voila… Instant babe.

Winner of an amazing 85 beauty pageant crowns, April attended a private Christian University in Branson, MO and was awarded a BS in theater with a minor in rhetoric. Her grade point average in college was an astounding 4.083, which earned April valedictorian honors for her class in 2001.

She made the move west to pursue an acting career and arrived with a bang not a whimper. During her first week in Los Angeles, April landed an agent and within 2 months had earned her SAG (Screen Actors Guild) card.(source) (via:A Socialite’s life)

I’m not too sure about that pedigree though. In my experience country folk don’t have their lineage past a few generations. Like when I asked my mom in the first grade what we were she said , “I don’t know about me, but you’re a white trash little shit with a lisp and borderline Down Sydrome from all the pot I smoked when I was pregnant, or was it Quaalude’s? Nobody has Quaalude’s anymore.” Then she kind of trailed off. My dad basically said that a I was real live son-of-a-bitch, and that all women were whores. “Never trust ‘em”. Then the guard took him back to his cell. At the time I was seven and I didn’t really know what things like Munchausen Syndrome and assault and battery with attempt to kill were. It took a few Thorazine Injections and some shock therapy to really hammer those home. Good times. Speaking of good times, here’s the new Daisy Duke: April Scott.

Images (Socialite’s Life and Aprilscott.com)


So far there are 10 SEXY COMMENTS » What do you think, sugar?

Posted in April Scott |
By Fatback


10 Comments to “April Scott is the new Daisy Duke”

  1. Emily Says:

    1. What DID happen to ‘ludes?

    B. Christian eh? No one in my church dresses like that. Silly pentecostals and their moral grounds.

    III. Shouldn’t that line read, she arrived by banging and whimpering? Just sayin.

  2. fatback Says:

    1.01.111.6: ‘ludes are not ‘all the rage” anymore. These kids and their “ecstasy” and “meth” and “ritalin”…I just don’t know. I’m fucking old school. Give me some reds and poppers anyday.

    Stardate 32417.8: They dress like that at my church. Wait, that may be the strip club called “The Church” in Charlotte. I get confused.

    MCMXVIII: I was searching for a porn related zinger for that one but I left it out for brevity’s sake. But I can see that we see eye to eye on that one.

  3. fleece Says:

    Nice comeback on that silly emily there fatback. Anyone who openly handles snakes at church has no room to talk. BTW, my moms dances at “The Church” and so does emily. Dont let her innocent picture make you think otherwise. You should see her rendition of “fiddler on the roof”, its touching, literally!!

  4. fatback Says:

    I’m a sucker for musicals…that involve nudity and snakes.

  5. Emily Says:

    fleece, you and i are fighting

    fatback, i love you. in spite of that rash.

  6. fatback Says:

    It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Or oozing, I can’t remember. I’m drunk.

  7. In Case You Didn’t Know » LINKS!! Says:

    [...] April Scott (WHO?) is the new Daisy Duke. Like we need another. Fatback & Collards [...]

  8. Nadine Velasquez looks way better than Christina Ricci - The Bastardly Says:

    [...] -Lindsay Lohan is busy -Hmm…Amy Poehler -Everyone loves a little April Scott! -Jessica Simpson’s music video is gonna be sexy [...]

  9. She of the Socks Says:

    You are funny. Amazingly funny.

    April Scott is pretty and, what’s more, looking at her back gives me an instant craving for ribs and bbq sauce. And porn.

  10. fatback Says:

    Amen to that! Can I get a witness?

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