Better than a Crawfish Po’boy with a Side of Grits

Marissa Miller

It’s after noon and I’m fucking hongry. I need to gets my vittles on, so check out these tasty links while I fill my belly.

Jenny McCarthy, my secret dirty girl crush is dating Jim Carey. Probably. Maybe. Whatever. (WWTDD)

MILF of the century, Denise “wild things” Richards is getting married to Ritchie “old guy” Sambora. (Bricks and Stones)

I have a premonition, that the OMEN will suck devil balls, but Julia Styles is as cute as a little bulldog puppy wearing a sweater.Oh and that kid in the OMEN is really the AntiChrist in case you were wondering. (I’m Not Obsessed)

J-Lo Hewitt is dating some guy that will never see her naked. You see, if she takes the velvet ribbon off, her head will fall off. (ICYDK)

Paris Hilton…oh fuck it. I don’t even care. The only headline I’ll ever want to see is her name followed by hollowtip round to the skull. But if you’re interested, some new rich guy is banging her. (Subvert Society)

Maria Sharapova, whose name I love to say with my Russian accent (I was a spy, y’all!), is sporting some camel toe. Dibs on helping her out with that. (StarPower)

Don’t click this link unless you are prepared to weep openly at the beauty of Marissa Miller’s ass. I gotta go, it’s uh, dusty in here. (The Bastardly)

Good luck to MidWest Hotness, Tina of Glitterati while she moves into her new mansion on the lake this week (Glitterati)