Crawfish and Cornbread for Breakfast, Miss Chickapee

Jodie Foster puts the IVY in Ivy League. If you don’t understand what that means then you are stupid dummy who went to community college. And you’re poor. Jodie Foster inpires at a Commencement Ceremony by quoting Eminem. All the world’s a stage… (Starpower.tv)

Gillian Anderson wants to believe that she should have sex with me. But I insist on her dying her hair red and flashing her FBI badge at me. Agent Scully is a freak. (The Bastardly)

Nicole Ritchie is so weak that she had Mischa Barton push her around in a shopping cart at the grocery store. She accidentally smelled a piece of fruit and vomited on Mischa’s belly. Then they made out. Hot. (D-Listed).

Christina Aguilara is a close to nude as you’ll ever see in GQ this month. Do not click this link unless you are prepared to spontaneously masturbate. (I typed this whole post with one hand, BTW) (Bricks and Stones)

More Stacy Kiebler and her legs that should be wrapped around me right now. (Hollywood Tuna)

Find out why they are called the “Douchehamptons”. “These dicks aren’t gonna suck themselves, ladies” (Veiled Conceit)