Jessica Simpson is a Redhead
Wow. What the fuck happened here? This is Jessica Simpson at the 2006 ALMA Awards. I’m assuming this is the “work” of Ken Paves and she probably paid like $15000.00 to gether hair to the color of urine after a couple of good kidney punches. This is creepily close to the color that my ex-girlfriend Divina (who was from Algeria) got when she tried to go blond that time. It was not blond. It was also not a color found in nature, I assure you. Try waking up with a rat’s nest of orange julius hair in your face sometime. I kept waking up thinking she was demon and her hair was on fire. In her defense she was Catholic and always speaking in tongues and telling me that I was going to burn in hell while shaking that chicken foot at me. Wait. Did I say Catholic? I meant Vodoun. Anyway…
The other thing is: What the hell happened to her rack? Everything is heading south and in a bad way. I hope to god that it’s that dress’s cut that’s making her chest look like a sack of wet mice, and not nature turning on her at such a young age.
Don’t get me wrong. I like natural born breastices (a lot), even with a little natural hanging lilt to them, but when they start aiming at the floor, it may be time to get some work done. For reals.
Photos: From all over the internet but mostly from IDLYITW.
Random Posts
Posted in Gossip, Jessica Simpson |
By Fatback
2 Comments to “Jessica Simpson is a Redhead”
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
May 9th, 2006 at 6:01 am
thats totaly the dress I am sure her boobs are still as perfect as ever
May 9th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
I read somewhere that she was wearing a wig, something about her coming out with a line of wigs.
She should have been workin’ them bressa-sessts a little more. She may be dumb as my town’s mayor, but god. DAMN, she’s got a fine body.