Paris Hilton made a Lesbian Sex Tape

Paris Hilton has reportedly made another sex tape. I know surprise surprise. Has she ever had sex without a camera running? That’s Paris above, wearing a pink dress and 2 months pregnant with another soon to be discarded fetus. Stem cells are Hott! The only reason I even mention this is because the sex tape is with a girl. A hot girl, Playboy model Nicole Lenz. Female First had this:

The hotel heiress allegedly made the “horniest videotape of all time” with Playboy beauty Nicole Lenz.The
model claims she romped with Paris - who unintentionally starred in
X-rated home movie ‘One Night In Paris’ with ex-boyfriend Rick Solomon
- for the camera in 2003.

The pair had checked into a £500-a-night suite at the Bellagio Hotel, in Las Vegas, after a night out partying when things allegedly got steamy.

Lenz is quoted in Britain’s News of the World newspaper as saying:
“The moment we were in the room Paris had only one thing on her mind -
sex.

“We lied down on a king size bed and took it in turns to play with
each other. It wasn’t long before we were naked and rolling around
together.”

She added: “We just pleasured each other for hours, recording it all.

“Paris had brought all manner of sex toys - to make sure we
didn’t miss out on anything simply because there was no man in bed with
us!”

Exactly one-half of this story is hot. And that’s the part where Paris Hilton is not mentioned. I can forgive Nicole Lenz for doing it though, because I think she’s foreign and foreigners think the US is all happy cowboys and MTV and they think Paris Hilton is someone we like and not a disease ridden porn star, whom we revile.

Years of denial and mental trauma have taught me to block out unsettling images and replace them with safe comfortable images. So, I have replaced the part of Paris Hilton with Kristanna Lokken on the Lesbian sex tape that I have playing in my mind right now. Mmmm. T3.

For those of you without penises, that’s Nicole on the left and Kristanna on the right. More NSFW images after the jump. It’s a holiday people. Like you’re even awake yet.

Nicole Lenz