NSFW – Fatback Media

Apparently RCA is having second thoughts about Former American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken’s new album. The recent gay, army-sex rumors about Clay and a former Green Beret may be the culprit.

CLAY Aiken’s second album may be in trouble, with RCA putting it "on hold" until the sex allegations of former Green Beret John Paulus blow over. And there are whispers that some aggrieved Claymates – Aiken’s rabid fans, mostly Liberace-loving middle-aged housewives – could file a class-action lawsuit against the singer. "He represented himself as a heterosexual choirboy," a spy said. "They might want their money back." A rep for Aiken said, "The album will come out some time in May."

I don’t even know where to start with this one. First of all Clay Aiken is so gay that women literally become lesbians if they stand too close to him. He’s gay. Homosexual. Who has gay man sex with gay men. Here’s the rub. So fucking what? It’s not like Art Schools hidden nestled in the mountains of North and South Carolina haven’t been churning out BFA grads with *cough* alternative lifestyles for years. (Don’t get me started on Bob Jones U., either). They only problem is that the church goin’ folk are so tightly wound that kids literally fear for their lives if they take penchant to interior design or show an aptitude for jazz-hands.

The other part of this issue is the mini-van driving, NASCAR Christian demographic that buys Clay Aiken’s watered down wink-and-a-smile show tunes in the first place. That, and the fact that Clay Aiken’s handlers ever tried to pass him
off as anything but an effeminate, warbling flit who likes to sing to
old ladies that weave tea cozies. The kicker is, the same people who see him as the quintessential wholesome, god-fearin’ southern boy who just hasn’t found the right girl yet, would be the first ones adding the two-cycle engine oil infused gasoline to the burning cross in his yard if they found out he was gay. Who else, but conservative Christians could even think of filing a class action law suit on the grounds of "Breach of Heterosexuality"? I’m not saying that I like Clay Aiken or his crappy music. I’m saying that Clay Aiken is a dreamboat and I want to make man love to his fuzzy eyebrows.