Jessica Simpson is a Needy Bitch

Jessica Simpson, apparently not satisfied with cheating on her husband during their whole marriage, has now resorted to calling soon-to-be ex-husband Nick Lachey and trying to break what spirit he has left.

Nick’ was allegedly very surprised when he got that first late-night call from his soon-to-be ex Jessica says an ‘insider.’

The insider claims that during the call Jessica talked in a baby
voice, saying things like "Whatcha doing? Where are you?" and "I miss
you, sweetie."

Adds a source close to Jessica, 25: "I hear she’s called Nick
several times, and each time she’s been very emotional. Maybe after
she’s had a few glasses of wine, she gets the desire to phone and pour
her heart out. I don’t think she’s over him yet. She’s very confused
and just can’t let go."

If Nick was smart he would just hang up the phone when he heard her voice. Obviously, he’s a glutton for punishment, or maybe he wanted to borrow those strappy stillettos again. I have a PhD in Sweet, Sweet Lovin’ so I can tell you this: When your recent ex calls in the middle of the night and is all whatcha doin’ that means one of two things:

You broke up with her and she is drunk and literally outside your door with a gun and a suicide note in her pocket.
She broke up with you and is drunk but her girlfriends are all busy and she just watched The Notebook so she needs to cry with someone but is all don’t come over now let’s get together soon etc, etc.

If you get Case 1 then lock the doors, call the police and settle in for a long night. DO NOT answer the door. If you get Case 2 aka "The Jessica Simpson", then hang up as soon as you hear her voice and drive over and have sex with her sister, aka "The Rodeo". Or ask to borrow those sassy Manolo’s that fit you just right, you dirty bird.