NSFW - Fatback Media

Apparently, Jessica Simpson has been quite busy lately having a long string of affairs to help her through the hard times. She has already been linked with Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera, the latest is that she had a fling with Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine.

According to a well-placed Lowdown spy,
Simpson and Levine had their forbidden tryst in early September 2004,
after a long night of partying with Jessica’s personal assistant, CaCee
Cobb, and M5 drummer Ryan Dusick at L.A.’s Sunset Marquis Hotel.

"Jessica and Adam were very close in the booth, and she kept putting
her hand on his leg," says the eyewitness. "It was obvious … that
something weird was going on. A few days later, Adam was talking about
how he and Jessica had ‘gotten it on’ in the hotel that night.
Apparently it was just kind of a fling."

And if my math serves me, that would put her right at 3 months pregnant. But my money is still on Johnny Knoxville as the baby-daddy. I have done some deep soul searching and I can not, for life of me, see why Jessica would unleash the glory contained in her MaidenForm for a snively little whiner like Adam Levine. He is the vocal equivalent of a velicoraptor. Not even a velociraptor though, just that little skull cavity fossil that they found in Jurassic Park 3. Except more nasal. My girlfriend thinks he’s hot and loves his music. My girlfriend could also kick his ass with one sexy hand tied behind her back.

UPDATE: So kickass reader c-diddy realized that my math may not be right-on. The alleged affair happened back in 2004 not in Sept. of this year. In my defense, I am insane. I still think she is pregnant with Johnny Knoxville’s spawn. 2004, 2005…whatever it takes.

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