NSFW – Fatback Media

It looks like man-destroyer, Angelina Jolie is pregnant. I can’t reveal my source for this exclusive information but I will give you a hint. It starts with an "AllThis" and ends with a "Nonsense.com". According to my super-secret source, Angelina’s recent morning-only illness and the rush to have Brad adopt her kidnapped children both bolster the evidence that she is with child.

Breaking information that I just made up says that there is chance that the baby is not Brad Pitt’s, but is instead the biological child of Angelina’s former husband Jonny Lee Miller. Miller, according to Life and Style magazine has been carrying on a casual sexual relationship with her for years and has even had romantic rendevous with her since she and Brad Pitt have been involved.

"Jonny said he and Angie were still very much lovers, that they had
many secret rendezvous that Brad was completely unaware of and that
when Brad found out, he’d be destroyed. And Jonny didn’t care. He
doesn’t seem to like Brad much at all."

Perhaps that’s why Tyler Durden has been following Angelina around like a puppy to the shittiest places on earth and waving candles with her at charity events. Angelina strikes me as the type of person who thrives on this kind of shit. Like, she’ll make you carry her lipstick and tampons in your coat pockets to a party, ignore you all night, then blow your best friend in the bathroom while you are warming up the car for her.