Gullah Gullah Pidgen Bites

Yes I am still alive. Thanks for all the emails wondering where I was. I’ve been really busy lately with side projects like the Forums for one of my most favorite sites in the wide world. Look for those to go live soon. I have also been writing a treatise on the mistakes made by Newton* in The Pricipia. I don’t even know where to start. Tunneling…hello?? So while I try to make mincemeat of Mr. Newton’s "laws" and destroy them on a quantum level (Get it? Quantum?). Please enjoy this hate mail that I received last night. I of course edited it for content and length, but this is basically how it went.

Dearest Mr. Fatback-
I am 23 and I live in South Carolina and my two [illegitimate (different fathers)] kids go to the fine schools here where they get real good schooling. I live in a trailer that is real nice, [besides the toys on the roof]. [The grass has almost growed back from when Timmy (my 8 year old) set the car on fire when he fell asleep in the backseat with a cigarette in his mouth.] I have no man but I am special and I voted for Bush cuz he’s for Jesus. You suck. You are a hack writer and you’re grammar sucks even worse. [etc etc...]

Oh. Mom. You’re such a kidder! So, till I come out of my ~~unibomber shack~~ office with the answer to my Schrodinger problem, here are some links fa’ dat ass.

Britney Spears set to appear on Broadway.Armageddon imminent. (AllThisNonsense.com).

Mischa Barton in her bikini. It looks like she has had some sandwiches. I guess the skeleton look is out (Sorry Nicole!) (Egotastic)

Oral Sex causes cancer. In some people… who probably would have gotten it anyway, so ..whatever. (SamanthaBurns.com)

Britney and Kevin: "Rednecks" in New York (aka country come to town) (National Ledger)

*Newton…what a fag. Look at that intense glare. He’s all," that God damn Leibniz! Such a queen! But such a strong bottom…"