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Paris Hilton has a monkey

Parismonkey

Paris Hilton has a monkey. It’s been a pretty slow day and now this. If you’re like me then when you read that headline the first thing that went through your head was "What the fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck?"  A goddamn monkey. I rarely rant. really. Fuck it I need some time. Here’s the article:

Baby Luv, went bananas when she took the peeved primate on a lingerie shopping spree in Las Vegas last weekend. We’re told that Baby Luv bit Hilton and clawed her face when she walked into the Agent Provocateur shop at Caesars on Saturday with the beast on her shoulder. Paris managed to pull Baby Luv off her and hooked his leash to a cabinet while she rang up $4,000 worth of bras and panties and a bullwhip, says our eyewitness.

Later that night, when the lingerie line hosted Kelly Osbourne’s 21st birthday bash at the Hard Rock, Baby Luv escaped from Hilton’s clutches — delaying the start of the Agent Provocateur show until staffers found him after a 20-minute search.

It escaped, huh? Yeah, well no shit dumbass! ITS. A. GOD. DAMN. MONKEY. I wish I was an heiress, then I could play with all the magical creatures in the land and have them do my bidding. Then when I go tired of them I would make my rich, powerful daddy have them removed. I don’t even know how to finish this post. Guaranteed, Paris has a Lemur purse by Christmas.

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So far there are 2 SEXY COMMENTS » What do you think, sugar?

Posted in Current Affairs, Gossip, Stuff that I hate... |
By Fatback

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2 Comments to “Paris Hilton has a monkey”

  1. Dan4J Says:
    November 16th, 2005 at 4:29 pm

    That’s not a monkey.

  2. fatback Says:
    November 16th, 2005 at 4:57 pm

    Yeah, I think its a Kinkajou, which are related to Pandas and raccoons. But, when the story broke someone thought it was a Lemur which is a monkey. Either way its a bit weird. Good catch though.

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