NSFW – Fatback Media

Ashlee Simpson, whose dirty father can be seen above swooning at his daughters rack, recently said that her breakup with Ryan Cabrera was not because of his involvement with Kimberly Stewart.

ASHLEE SIMPSON has hit out at reports that she dumped RYAN CABRERA after seeing pictures of KIMBERLY STEWART pinching his bottom.

The pair enjoyed an on/off romance for some time before it came to an end, and Simpson insists it was just a coincidence that their break-up happened soon after she viewed the controversial images on a photo agency’s website.

She says, "I made a big deal about it. I was at rehearsal with my band, and I was like, ‘Oh, my God, you guys! Look’ But it’s not why we broke up. We were both travelling a lot."

Cabrera adds, "Ashlee didn’t like it, but the press magnified it to the trillionth degree."

I won’t even go into how much I dislike Kimberly Stewart. But I will say that if someone wants to use her as a speed bump for their Hummer, I’ll buy the gas. I had never heard of Ryan Cabrera, but my friends told me he is an ‘oh-so-cute’ singer who used to date Ashlee Simpson. He is obviously an  idiot who uses unnecessary hyperbole – which pisses me off a million percent.

Upon further investigation I dug up this image.

This kid looks like the poor-man’s Reece (Justin Berfield from Malcolm in the Middle). Which is creepy because Joe Simpson, who produces this Stridex Poster child, also co-produces the new series Cattle Drive with Justin Berfield. I’m not saying that Joe Simpson may be a pederast. Wait. Yes I am.