NSFW – Fatback Media

Ben Affleck has been ordered by Jennifer Garner to quit smoking to save the health of their unborn child.

The Hollywood actor has been given strict orders by wife Jennifer
Garner to kick his habit because she doesn’t want their unborn daughter
exposed to second-hand smoke, while in the womb and after she is born.

Affleck is now planning to meet with a top US hypnotist in a bid to
stop smoking after having the smoke ‘therapist’ recommended to him by
long-term friend Matt Damon.

That’s really sweet. My mom did something similar when she was pregnant with me except for the hiring a hypnotist and quitting smoking part. But like she used sing to me in my crib, "it was the 70’s and do you know how hard it is to come down off a speedball when you’ve been up for three days? Bastard."

Update: An overcritical ass concerned reader emailed me and told me that the correct pluralization of ‘fetus’ is ‘fetuses’. Well, thanks doctor. Way to kill the humor. I think I’ll stop writing now and go back to  my Michaelis Menton Enzyme Kinetics Derivations.