NSFW – Fatback Media

After publicly announcing that she doesn’t like America, the ex-pat and Londoner Gwyneth Paltrow now is getting tired of Britain too. According to the devilishly sexy A Socialite’s Life,

Paltrow says she finds the UK’s streets are dirty, the weather cold and
its customer services "rubbish" in an interview with Marie Claire US
edition.

In the article, Paltrow describes being an expat living across the
Pond to her fellow Americans and warns "Bring a raincoat, definitely
… or at Least a little umbrella that can fit in your bag, because it
always does rain." She said [Coldplay frontman and husband, Chris] Martin  thought she was "way too obsessed
with cleanliness and germs".

The star added: "I’m just like ‘The street is filthy, could we take
off our shoes before we come into the house’.

Fellas, this is exactly the type of woman you don’t want to end up with. I bet she has made every single man in her life punch a wall*. First she moves to London and hates America. Now she doesn’t like London. She insisted on naming her kid after a fruit. I bet she has also affected that fake British accent that ex-pats (like Madonna) get after living abroad. "Where’s my MO-BYLE phone? I think I left it on the lift. But its so dark in there I should take a torch.", etc.

I never really saw what everyone thought was so sexy about her. Then again, I am not a necropheliac. She looks just like my grandmother did at her funeral except more pale. Yeah, her eyes were open but the mortician said that was for effect. Did I say mortician? I meant serial killer. Did I say serial killer? I meant me. God I miss her.

* That line came from the hilarious Zach over at Veiled Conceit.