Kelly Preston is Mean

According to a recent article, Kelley Preston and John Travolta are urging Katie Holmes to have a "silent" birth".

Scientology couple John Travolta and Kelly Preston are urging Katie
Holmes to have a ’silent birth’ when she delivers fiance Tom Cruise’s
baby next year and follow the church’s strict doctrines.

Scientologists
believe children should be brought into the world without any fuss and
be allowed to quietly get used to their surroundings. That means no
music, no chatting and no expressions of pain from the mother.

Preston
explains: "It’s just because everything in moments of pain is really
recorded and you want to have that (the birth) peaceful and clear of
sort of suggestions or different words that can then affect them
(babies) in their future."

Wait. What? No sound at all? Not even maniacal laughter? Unless you are having Rosemary’s Baby, then I am pretty sure its more traumatic to have a kid with creepy cult members quietly staring at your vagina, than pretty much any other way I can think of. And I am an expert. I have my father’s eyes. I am sure that the ~~spawn~~ child will thank his biological progenitors someday for the ‘quiet birth’ by becoming the bestest serial killer ever.

*UPDATE- to see what Katie looked like before the Dianetics kicked in click here. (NSFW after the jump)