NSFW – Fatback Media

I was reading a post over at The Morning News today and saw a link
to Bob Jones University and "what not to bring to campus". Posters of movie and
music stars and fashion models are not permitted. It goes on to say that
New Age Jazz is not permitted either. New Age Jazz? Whaaa..? I guess Satan is
trying to infiltrate our youth through John Tesh. Marilyn Manson be damned![ed.
note that's kinda funny when you think about it] Watch out for satanic synth
rhythms and electro-bass infused weather channel themes.

I think we all know where I stand when it
comes to BJU. To me they are about 2 cases of Ak-47’s away from locking the
gates and going Branch Davidian on our shit. But I digress. Their website* is
HILARIOUS. Take this
page where the dress code is laid out. Here’s an excerpt:

General Dress       
   

Hair must be cut in a traditional, conservative
style–not shaved, spiked,  tangled, or shelved. It may not be colored or
highlighted.

You don’t have to have the “queer -eye”
to see that this chick has had some foil work. And if I’m not mistaken,
that collar line is more than four fingers distance
below the collar-bone. I’m not one to judge, but she’s probably a whore.

BJU also has an interesting policy
on Abercrombie & Fitch. I thought that they just made sweatshop clothes for
sloppy middle income mallrats, who knew they we’re the embodiment of The Dark Lord here on
earth. BJU really does not want their
students wearing the cloth of the Satan.**

* The website
itself is really nice. A little boring, but 100% CSS and HTML compliant. Praise
Jesus.

**That’s
three times. Now I’m gonna get a crap load of satanic search traffic. Oh, and
candyman’s gonna come after me with that hook.