Now that Paula Abdul is out of the picture for the hit Fox showAmerican Idol, the show is looking for a judge that can be fun and entertaining. Or at least a temporary guest judge. Just like Simon is in no position to judge American talent because he is a Brit and Paula was the only true talent on the show who was in a position to judge  talent, Fox did the next best thing and got the most British person on the face of the earth to guest judge the show. Victoria Beckham.

I have got nothing against Victoria and the days of calling her a robot is sooo yesteryear. I would totally do her. But I am shallow like that. So in between tea breaks and crumpets with Simon she will attempt to tell people they are or are not full of talent and deserve to sell millions of records and perform in some of the biggest arenas in the world. If I were in the UK, I would call bollocks. Right guv’na?

Source

Victoria Beckham has looked hot for years. She isn’t one of these chicks like Pamela Anderson who has to have ENORMOUS boobs just to look somewhat good.  She had surgery a grand total of 3 times. Once for regular implants, then a bigger but and now breast reduction. She is now down to a squeezable 34B.

I really like big boobs I truly do but when there is boobs that is soft and can fit in your hands, not only does it make my hands look bigger in comparison but they are soft and mailable and fun to play with. So Victoria, who I am sure got the reduction for the sexual preferences of David Beckham, should head over my way and let me test them out. A squeeze there, a nipple tweak there. You know, just so I know they are comfortable. If you like my place you can hang for the weekend. You know while David is off doing all that underwear stuff. We can talk about how men never have time for their women. Oh men. What are you gonna do? Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Yes, a couple of sassy girlfriends we will be. After the boob inspection of course.

Source

Linsk that are a D-cup and still growing

Will Smith and his tranny wife Jada Pinkett Smith are gettin’ freaky- IDLYITW

Killing puppies is not cute- Geno’s World

Is Britney Spears getting married again? – popbytes

Sanjaya is a stright gay guy- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

How to be an attention whore for dummies- Allie Is Wired

Tori Spelling still looks weird in a bikini- Drunken Stepfather

Lindsay Lohan is such a loser she got dumped by a chick she wasn’t even going out with- yeeeah

Megan Fox shows off her fine little tush- IDLYITW

Lauren Conrad likes being flat- notorious news

Amy Winehouse’s parents are just now realizing that drugs and alcohol might kill Amy- Holy Moly

Fergie is a cover girl- Amy Grindhouse 

J.Lo has a boring career- I Don’t Want Your Life

Most people on Thanksgiving stay indoors with family and stuff themselves with turkey. This Thanksgiving TomKat did nothing of the sort. Instead they went out to the Big Apple Circus in NYC with the Beckhams. Afterwards they took a tour of central park, like they have never been there before, and took a horse and carriage ride through the property.

It must be nice to be as rich as TomKat and the Beckhams. While I was inside eating Wal-Mart turkey and smoking cigarettes they were taking a fucking horse carriage ride in NYC. This isn’t the time of year for envy though. Instead I will feel sorry for Jada Pikett Smith. Some people think she is a talented actress, but all I see in a post op transexual. Seriously, I bet Samantha Ronson hit on her until Will Smith walked over and shoved his tongue down her throat complete with adam’s apple. OK I am gonna go throw up now.

Source

Smokin’ hot and tabloid sizzling British couple David and Victoria Beckham are to appear on the August issue of W magazine. Here’s a quote from the article:

“When the soccer star married the pop singer, it was a match made in British tabloid heaven. Now David and Victoria Beckham are determined to become the new American idols.”

Drag. Lame. Bore. I am so unbelievably disappointed in these photos. I didn’t get a nip slip or a bare ass or some interspecies erotica or anything. Just some fucked up tattoos. Turns out W doesn’t stand for whore. (Who knew?) I feel so…teased. Now I know how all those boys (and girls) felt in high school. Instead, I got Posh in a maxi pad and “Becks” (stupid fucking name, by the way) looking as though he’s auditioning for male porn. Either that or a Calvin Klein ad, which is basically the same thing. Who the fuck chose their wardrobe? Conclusion: two unimpressed thumbs down. Leave the magazine on the shelves and wait for one of their sex tapes to hit YouTube. Because of some -ahem- legal issues we aren’t posting all of the pics here. You can see all the fish n’ chips in hi res here and here.

And we’re not referring to Rosie O’Donnell, but a real pig. Zing! I’m so bad. No really, I am. Bless my southern girl’s heart.

Victoria Beckham’s US visit didn’t go as well as she’d have us all believe, after it was revealed she was the victim of a pig attack. The incident happened when the Queen of Pout was viewing schools in LA for her three sons. As she visited a science block in one school, a pack of pot belly pigs made a b-line for the would-be fashion guru. A source told the National Enquirer, ‘

Victoria was being shown around the science lab when two pet pot-bellied pigs, who are allowed to roam free, snuffled up to her.’ Instead of warming to the pigs and petting them, Posh fled the scene with the source adding, ‘She screamed, ‘Get it away!’, and tried to run away in her high heels. It was hysterical, everyone was trying so hard not to laugh.’ (source)

Pork fat rules. But I’m going to be uncharacteristically sympathetic. She probably doesn’t even know what a pig looks like. She looks likes the only protein she gets is liquid. (Again. I am bad person.) She prolly thought the pig was a Scientology spirit trying to infiltrate her body in order to drain her life force for the greater good of planet Neuromac. Where is Tom Cruise when you need him? But just to be sure no harmful energy penetrated her soul and compromised her being, she might want to consider a colonic and a 30-day detox plan. Don’t fuck with her chi. Bitches.

Hello lovers, Emily here with a story that I should’ve published about 4 days ago when it was new. Fucking red wine. According to a recent article, Victoria Beckham doesn’t like her naked body. I think she should submit some tasteful photos to my inbox and let me decide.

The wife of former England captain David tells [Australia's Harper's Bazaar magazine] that having three children and then losing so much weight afterwards has left a rather unsightly legacy on her tummy. “I’ve got so much saggy skin on my stomach,” she says.

Mrs Beckham added: “I might fit into jeans but, trust me, I look really awful naked.” (source)

I would say it’s really hard for any 89 pound person to look good naked. She’s more skeleton than human. Her tummy is saggy because there’s no supporting meat; just bones clanking around in her chest cavity. And her lack of ass is due to her lack of nutrition, not a genetic defect. All that’s are nothing a little creamery butter and macaroni pie can’t cure! Homegirl needs to sit with my family on Thanksgiving.  A couple of meals with us will put some junk that trunk, chica.  Get some nice ass cleavage going (real women have curves!). A word of caution though, Poshy, don’t sit next to “Uncle” Ed. We’re not really sure how he’s related to us but nobody’s gonna say shit to a one-eyed man with smeared lipstick who’s wearing women’s underwear on the outside of his clothing.