Fatback Media

So the auto linker is down, my server is bloated like a tick on a hound dog and I can’t post for shit with this bullshit wireless connection. The good news is Marisa Miller continues to be hot in lingerie. So break out the SPF 1000, ’cause I’m going to the beach folks. If you see a guy with a farmer tan, black knee socks and sweater of chest hair…look to the right. See that handsome blogger? That’s me ladies. If you need me, you’ll find me under a pile jello stained dixie cups next to the strippers from The Suck-Bang-Blow club. Harley chicks rule.

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Adriana Lima – beautiful, perfect in every way – just got engaged to Serbian basketball player Marko Jaric -  giant slavic guard for the T-wolves.

“He asked and she said yes. They are both incredibly happy and couldn’t be more in love,” says publicist James Weir. Lima, who turned 27 on Thursday, and Jaric, 29, who plays for the Minnesota Timberwolves, have been dating for about nine months.The normally stoic Serb sports star has admitted he fell hard for the Victoria’s Secret beauty. ”I was not the person to fall in love easily. I am a difficult person from that standpoint,” he told PEOPLE in March. “Now, it’s a little different situation.” (PEOPLE)

Well obviously, I’ve been going about this in the wrong way. When asked for a comment about his new fiancee, Marco beamed with pride and said, “I shoot bowl, da?”. Here are some old Adriana Lima bikini pics. Meh.

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God. Damn.

Ashlee Simpson’s rack has gone from great to awesome now that she’s eating for two. I figure she has about 3 more weeks of complete hotness before the grossness sets in and we have to write her off till Christmas. I’m not saying that pregnant girls are gross. Wait, yes I am totally saying that.

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• Ah, so close
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