Tom Cruise
Katie Holmes Is Rich
Jan 5th
Even though in this picture she looks like a haggard $3 whore, don’t appearances deceive you. Katie Holmes is one rich little bitch. According to the Telegraph, she dumped almost $14 million in 6 months since moving to New York for Broadways All My Sons. Now the UK magazine goes into great detail about how Katie has spent on clothes, lofts and most of all Suri. But it doesn’t exactly say where this money is coming from.
All of this leads me to one conclusion, Katie Holmes is possibly the most talented gold digger in Hollywood/New York. I mean that Dawson’s Creek money ran out a long time ago. And since then she has been in about 3 b-list movies. Now here she is whoring it up on All My Sons. Basically the conclusion is that she is spending like mad because it is not her money she is spending. I am not sure what the latest Forbes estimates on how much money Tom Cruise has are, but let’s put it this way, enough. Congrats Katie you will spend a lot of rich happy years with Tom and I hope your little ankle biter will grow up to be a bigger gold digger than you. If that is possible.
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Katie Holmes Is An Old Lady
Dec 19th
Katie Holmes is a smokin’ hot girl. And when she was in her hey day back when she was starring on Dawson’s Creek she was probably considered one of the hottest girls in Hollywood. But as she got older, her hair got shorter, her movie roles dried up and now she is married to some one who most people in Hollywood and nation wide consider to be mentally unfit.
And she is not getting any younger. She just celebrated her 30th birthday on the stage which she performs All My Sons. Tom Cruise arrange to have a huge birthday cake brought out to her and the audience all sung Happy Birthday to her. How…creepy. According to US magazine they also “celebrated” before Cruise left NY to head back to L.A. Ooooh. What does “celebrated” mean? Did they have hot old people sex in the shower with a seat? Probably not. Katie probably spent the night in the bathroom popping her oral herpees blisters and Tommy sat crying in the bedroom because he misses the days when he could come out of the closet at any time. He is kind of bogged down now.
TomKat Has Some Advice For Speidi
Dec 9th
Tom Cruise is the master of ceremonies. He proved that when he married Katie Holmes in a beautiful castle somewhere in Ireland or Scotland or some shit. when he heard that Speidi eloped in a private and small ceremony in Cabos San Lucas, he was appalled. He had this to say to Spencer about the wedding, ” If the girl wants the wedding, you gotta do the wedding. It’s a special occasion, and she’ll remember it forever. Spencer…dude…you’ll realize this later.
Yea. Spencer. Dude. Wake up. This is Tom Cruise we are talking about. He knows how to put on a show. So you know what this will mean. You will have to re-wed Heidi Montag in an American wedding with an American priest so it will be legal. Oh and you better use a scientology priest too. Or else TomKat will bad mouth your wedding until the day you die. Lesson learned.
TomKat Spend Thanksgiving With The Beckhams
Nov 28th
Most people on Thanksgiving stay indoors with family and stuff themselves with turkey. This Thanksgiving TomKat did nothing of the sort. Instead they went out to the Big Apple Circus in NYC with the Beckhams. Afterwards they took a tour of central park, like they have never been there before, and took a horse and carriage ride through the property.
It must be nice to be as rich as TomKat and the Beckhams. While I was inside eating Wal-Mart turkey and smoking cigarettes they were taking a fucking horse carriage ride in NYC. This isn’t the time of year for envy though. Instead I will feel sorry for Jada Pikett Smith. Some people think she is a talented actress, but all I see in a post op transexual. Seriously, I bet Samantha Ronson hit on her until Will Smith walked over and shoved his tongue down her throat complete with adam’s apple. OK I am gonna go throw up now.
