Fatback Media

In plotting out this post (uh, yeah, these require massive amounts of gray matter!), I wasn’t sure which has-been “celebrity” to use for a photo to represent the upcoming VH1 show “Celebrity Rehab.” I mean when you’re choosing amongst the singer from a late 90’s one-hit wonder band, a Baldwin brother, and the same-old-same-old VH1 gals Chyna and Brigette Nielsen . . . well, you have slim pickings as far as who is a “celebrity.” So I decided to go with a mug shot, specifically that of Jessica Sierra, reported cast member on the up-and-coming “Celebrity Rehab.” If you don’t know who she is, that’s okay, you shouldn’t–she was in the Top Twelve of some season of “American Idol.” Whatever.

Anyway, VH1 has just announced that “Celebrity Rehab” will air in January. Jessica Sierra along with Daniel Baldwin, Mary Carey, Brigitte Nielsen, Jeff Conway, Chyna, and the singer from the band Crazytown are reportedly in the cast, but VH1 has not officially confirmed this winning bunch.

The reality show will partner with “Dr. Drew” Pinksy who will counsel the patients during their rehab stint. Dr. Drew offers:

“The road to sobriety is not easy and rehabilitation and the recovery process are not to be taken lightly . . . My goal is to lift the veil and help my patients, as well as viewers, understand that if not taken seriously, addiction is a disease that will kill you.”

Yeah, kill you but first make you look like the walking dead if the “celebs” from the cast in the pics below are any indication . . .

Hey, Miss Lennox here. I’m happy to be back in F&C action and presenting you with bikini pics of the lovely Kate Walsh from this past weekend in Hawaii. Kate plays Dr. Addison Montgomery on “Private Practice,” ex wife of Dr. McDreamy on “Grey’s Anatomy.” While I enjoy “Grey’s,” I just cannot watch “Private Practice” because it makes my vagina hurt. No, really, I’m serious. There is such an excess of estrogen on the show that the characters’ vaginas must secretly be communicating with my own. And I don’t like that one bit.

However, I do adore beautiful Kate Walsh . . . especially in a bikini . . .

Last night the Kardashian family of B (C? D?)-listers came out to play at the premier party for their new E! network show, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” The amount of siblings between Kris Kardashian and Bruce Jenner is astounding. While watching the previews that E! has been inundated it viewers with, I was unable to count all the siblings. Also, while watching the previews, I know that I will not be watching this show.

The bunch is an interesting looking family . . . and I don’t mean that in a flattering way. Not all of the clan attended the party, but let me introduce you to those who did, from left to right.

First Amazon Kardashian or perhaps Amazon Jenner. I’m not sure whose kid she is, but she’s big enough to crush you between her thighs. And something tells me Amazonia is insanely jealous of soon-t0-be Playboy model sister Kim.

Next is Daddy Jenner. He seems to be suffering from the “Kenny Rogers Syndrome,” i.e. perpetually surprised-looking due to a bad face lift.

Ah, then Kimmie, media darling, and the purpose and focus of the upcoming show. I just can’t like this girl. She’s famous because Paris Hilton is her BFF, she’s filthy rich due to her dead lawyer Daddy who defended O.J., and she made a nasty sex tape which only boosted her popularity. Yuck on all three counts.

Anyway, then there’s Mama Kardashian who looks like she’s put her dead hubby’s money to good use and found a great plastic surgeon. The woman does not look like she popped out 5 kids–or however many are hers.

Kardashian Siblings X and Y look sweet enough, but I’m sure that after their reality “fame,” some rehab or at least a DUI is in their future . . .

I, for one, will not be “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” Hell no.