Fatback Media

Ugh. These two attention whores can’t get enough of each other. And apparently the paparazzi can’t get enough of them. I kind of like them but they are too “in your face” when you read the tabloids. In fact, they are so self obsessed when they show up in January on How I Met Your Motherthey will be playing themselves. I JUST started watching and enjoying HIMYM. Don’t show up and ruin it Speidi!

What’s even more weird, Heidi will be playing a mother on the show. If I were her kid, I would slit my wrists just after the given People magazine cover shoot. They are not leaking any details of the show because they want everything to be a “surprise.” But basically that is just the producers way of saying that the episode will suck.

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Links sweeter than southern lemonade

Nicole Kidman has a baby- Allie Is Wired

Lindsay Lohan has fat friends- Drunken Stepfather

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Miley Cyrus hearts pedophiles- IBBB

Fergie is a chunky girl now- notorious news

Maggie Gyllenhaal is wearing real fur? - popbytes

Ivanka Trump is FINE! - The Bastardly

An Amanda Bynes upskirt- I Don’t Want Your Life

Obama’s kids want to be television stars- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Salma Hayek addicted to breastfeeding? I can help her with that- Geno’s World

It seems to me that every time Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt want to do something, go to the beach, go out to dinner or whore it up on MTV’s The Hills, they are usually posing for the cameras or pretending that they do not want to be photographed. But we know better. I am not sure what they are supposed to be in this picture. Obviously Spencer is a prisoner but what is Heidi? A slutty cop? A slutty corrections officer? A slutty Hedi Montag? No that’s not right. That’s just redundant.

Anyway, at a Los Angeles nightclub, The Kress, instead of smiling for the cameras and telling people to vote for McCain, Speidi bolted for the door and ran inside. That is not like them. I am sure they were just anxious to get in there and hear DJ AM spin some tracks. It isn’t like they could actually talk to DJ AM because Speidi is probably the most hated couple in Hollywood. After they were inside they were photographed kissing and giggling in the VIP section. I don’t see how Heidi can go out with this guy. I should be the one making out with Heidi Montag on a beach somewhere.

As we all know, Spencer is a grade-A douche bag. And we all know I have a very strict no douche bag policy.

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Happy 2008! With this new year there are a ton of celebs who I hope to never see again . . . it’s not that I want all of them dead (though there are a few that upon expiring would make the world a better place). Rather, I just hope for their disappearance from the pop culture radar. I don’t’ want to see these folks on blogs, I don’t want to blog about them, I don’t want to pick up a magazine and see their faces. Period. Got it? Okay, now for the list:

1. Spencer Pratt/Heidi Montag (these two are on my Die List)
2. Britney Spears and any relative of her, yet unborn or living
3. Celebrity crotch sans undies (yeah, not a person, but just as offensive)
4. Kanye West
5. Lindsey Lohan
6. Celebrity Pregnancy denials from obviously prego celebs
7. Anyone from the Hogan family
8. Akon
9. The Olly Twins
10. Angelina and Brad and their 34 kids
11. Marie Osmond

And who do I hope to see more of in 2008? My top pick is Amy Winehouse. I am fascinated by her depravity and hope to see more awful pictures of her junkie body in 2008, though I fear her days are drawing near. That’s why I have backup celebrities to track. I want to see more of Tyra Banks self-aggrandize, self-praise, self-examine, and tell the rest of us why she is perfect. Also, I look forward to watching Ashley Tisdale’s new nose job settle down and take its permanent shape. And it is my ardent wish that the rare treat of CoCo (Ice-T’s wife) shows up to more award shows this year sprouting camel toe and clothes that are too tight on her huge ass and thighs. Oh and let’s not forget Miss New York and Bret Michaels–the former is sure to have yet another show on VH1 and the latter’s oh-so-ardent quest for “love” airs in a couple of weeks. And in general I look very forward to seeing who the next Nickelodeon or Disney purported teenage virgin to get knocked up is–Miley Cyrus anyone? And let’s not forget that Paula Abdul and a whole host of fellow crazies are coming back to us this month via American Idol. Hell yeah! Welcome 2008!

So raise a toast to expiring celebs and take yet another look at Coco’s inexplicable ass . . .