Soleil Moon Frye, (tv’s Punky Brewster!) just had a baby. In other news…well there is no other news. She and I have been estranged ever since she committed the cardinal sin: breast reduction. WHY GOD? WHY?

Former Punky Brewster star Soleil Moon Frye and her husband, Jason Goldberg, have welcomed their second child, a girl, the actress’s rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg was born Monday in Los Angeles and weighed 8 lbs., 6 oz. The couple also have a 2-year-old daughter, Poet Sienna Rose Goldberg. (PEOPLE)

Did they use a baby book for these, or go into a teepee on a vision quest with 2 oz of  peyote and an issue of Us Weekly? I guess we should have expected some off the wall names from someone whose name means Sun, Moon and a method of cooking involving hot oil immersion, but this just seems like cruelty. If you don’t want your daughter to be the feature act in an all nude BYOB strip club bar by the time she’s 17, then don’t give her a stage name the day she’s born. Plus if my wife tried to name my kid after a rock star I would get a paternity test immediately. Whore.